You’ll always have my heart…

There’s always that one person
That will always have your heart
You never see it coming
‘Cause you’re blinded from the start
Know that you’re that one for me
It’s clear for everyone to see
Oh baby, you will always be my boo

Do you remember, girl?
I was the one who gave you your first kiss
‘Cause I remember, girl
I was the one who said, “Put your lips like this”
Even before all the fame and
People screaming your name
Girl, I was there and you were my baby

It started when we were younger
You were mine
Now another brother’s taken over
But it’s still in your eyes
Even though we used to argue, it’s alright
I know we haven’t seen each other
In a while but you will always be my boo

I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine
And I see it from time to time
I still feel like…
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide
And even though there’s another man who’s in my life
You will always be my boo

Yes, I remember, boy
‘Cause after we kissed
I could only think about your lips
Yes, I remember, boy
The moment I knew you were the one
I could spend my life with
Even before all the fame
And people screaming your name
I was there and you were my baby

It started when we were younger
You were mine
Now another brother’s taken over
But it’s still in your eyes
Even though we used to argue, it’s alright
I know we haven’t seen each other
In a while but you will always be my boo

I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine
And I see it from time to time
I still feel like…
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide
And even though there’s another man who’s in my life
You will always be my boo

I hate the word “boo.” But my gosh, I love this so much.

Sensually Frustrated.

There’s another side of me that I keep on the down down down low. There’s only one person in the world who knows who that person is and can unlock that part of me.

I’ve been having thoughts–quite distracting, btw–all day long about this one thing. It seems kind of pointless to write about it if I’m not going to say what it is but, I’ve got to “tell” someone. I would, of course, just talk to the one person who knows but do you ever feel like even a simple “Hello” in someone’s life is, not a nuisance, but like something unnecessarily extra that they really don’t have to deal with… like there are other important things that they’d rather give their attention, and there are.

Well, I’m done complaining or whining or venting or whatever I’m doing.

No, no, no, no, noooo!

What. Is. WRONG with me?!

This rollercoaster of emotions seems to be never-ending. I feel like a terrible person for thinking these thoughts and desiring these things… but I can’t help it.

Why why WHY, no matter how long it’s been, do I always end up here? How in the world do I always feel so “good” and “free” and just full of all this joy but then I ALWAYS find myself here again?

It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all. I hate to be complaining but I did not ask for this.

I’m happy. I am so happy… So why do I feel so sad?

Baby!

So my best friend from high school just had his baby the other day… He just sent me pictures and she is just beautiful.

It just stinks because he’s got his and I’ve got mine. I would love to see him and talk (not because of the baby… but I must admit that I am in love with every and all babies) but we just can’t. I mean, we could… but it wouldn’t be right. Which STINKS.

I guess it’s just one of those things that you just have to suck up. It’s life.