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All I Wanted

Forget it. Forget everything. I feel so stupid, so naïve, so dumb. I can’t believe that for a SECOND I actually thought that waiting would actually do something. To think that something so great could happen just like that? Oh, come on… And to think, all the thoughts and time I put into something that would just go away like everything else! So stupid. I wished and hoped and prayed but… nothing. Why did God allow me to go through this? I’m not shaking my fist at God, but really… I just want to know. Why? Maybe I wasn’t listening… maybe? All I wanted was a little and was given a LOT then had it taken away from me. I feel so stupid for actually thinking it would go somewhere. All I wanted was respect and I got it, but it was only temporary. Hmm… I really thought something good would come. I really, actually thought.

BUT GOD! I am a friend of God and I will die out to HIM. I will go through ANYTHING if in the end, God receives the glory because I know that He will sustain me and carry me through! He will heal me from head to toe, inside and out! To God be the glory in EVERY circumstance!

But don’t think I am strong. That is all God and to Him be the glory. Amen. I would love to sit here in my sadness and feel sorry for myself. It’s hard not to… but God.

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