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I am such a bad girl…

If it wasn’t for God, lust would utterly destroy me.

That’s part of the reason why I want to get married. You can’t lust after your own husband! Of course I would never rush anything or marry someone just because I’m hormonal but, sometimes I really have to catch myself.

I haven’t physically done anything with anyone and I haven’t willingly physically done anything with anyone in Lord knows how long… It’s just the thoughts that run through my mind. They make me feel like I’ve done the worst when really, I’m just sitting in my room at my desk.

Can I be honest? Sex is one of the most beautiful things in the world. I love “researching” it, for lack of a better word. Not pornography, of course, (because that’s just nonsense) but I love knowing what most men or what most women desire, their guilty pleasures, what to do and where and how to do it… Sex is just so interesting! So my dear future husband, …oh. Oh, sweetie…😉

But back to the matter at hand. I really need to find a way to distract myself. Today while I was taking a final, I was distracted by it!😦 Maybe it’s because I haven’t done anything in so long… which is good! That’s what I should be doing (or not doing), but this body and mind of mine… they want the right things but at the wrong time. I’m not married! Get with it, mind and body!

Well, I’m going to read and bathe and take my mind off of things. Jesus fixes everything! Just say the name! JESUS!🙂

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