There are a million things on my mind tonight. So here they are:
- I saw Frozen yesterday afternoon with some friends from the Drama Outreach Ministry (called REACH) at school. Ever since it came out, more and more of them would not. stop. talking. about it. So we took a group trip! It was phenomenal. Honestly, it really is a good one and the message the movie sends out about true love is a perfect definition of it that we scarcely see. It’s heartwarming, it’s sad, it’s funny, it will make you go, “Aww,” Idina Menzel sings in it… Definitely a must-see.
- My friend’s father passed away over winter break. She missed the first two weeks of school and finally came back yesterday evening. My friend and I decorated the room and her bed with balloons, cut-outs, pictures, notes, and food… The only things missing were confetti and a Mariachi band! (For some reason, we both passionately wished we could have a Mariachi band there.) She came back and she loved everything, she smiled, she laughed, and we all caught up. Then my friend and I went to the cafeteria to get dinner and for some reason, all of a sudden, we both felt so sad. It was such a heaviness that was literally only a glimpse of what our friend is feeling. “Weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15)
- The friend that I mentioned above–the one who I decorated with–is such a blessing. I honestly thank God for her. We always have such a great time together, we can talk about anything, we laugh constantly, we pray together, we eat together, we study together, we go to church together, we discuss the Bible together… Again, she is a blessing that I didn’t even know I wanted or needed. She is so nice and so sweet and SO CUTE. She’s just adorable. All you want to do is pinch her cheeks. I know we will be friends forever. I do mean it. But in all, I just wanted to express gratitude to God for such an amazing blessing.
- I was watching Legally Blonde: The Musical with a friend the other night and I started falling asleep. So I checked my phone to keep me up a little bit. I went on my Facebook and started scrolling down to, for some reason, see if there was anything old and embarrassing on there. Lo and behold, I find a video that my ex-boyfriend tagged me in. Like a dummy, I go on his page and one glance was all it took. I really wish there was a way that I could express, in words or actions, how much I really do love him. As I’ve said before, not romantically. I just love him unlike I’ve ever loved anyone else. I’ll stop myself there.
- Last night during Catacombs, Gordon’s candlelit acoustic praise and worship, we sang my favorite hymn of all time, “Come Thou Fount.” It’s funny because I originally couldn’t stand whenever it played on my Pandora. 😛 But anyway, the last four lines of the song are my absolute favorite and always “stick out” to me. Today, they did it for sure:
Prone to wander, LORD, I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart, LORD, take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above
I started crying. Nothing but flashbacks of my willing sin came to mind and replayed in my head. Thinking of God’s love for me, even when I showed no love for Him, is just incredible. Obviously we know that “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son and whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life,” but when we truly stop and think about it and realize it and feel it… it’s amazing. It is absolutely amazing.
We later sang, “How Deep The Father’s Love For Us.” As soon as that title came up on the screen, the tears came back and I just knew that singing this song would be different this time:
How deep the Father’s love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory
Behold a man upon a cross
My sin upon his shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
Can we just dwell on those lyrics? This, in my opinion, has to be one of the most beautiful songs ever written. It helps bring to our minds the reality of God’s true, eternal, unbending love for us and Christ’s undeserving, loving, willing suffering for us. We have a cross in the middle of the chapel, right in front so everyone can see. Singing this song while gazing upon the cross will take your breath away.
Another song we sang (this is my last song reference, I promise) was “Nothing I Hold Onto”:
I will climb this mountain
With my hands wide open
There’s nothing I hold onto
There’s nothing I hold onto
I give it all to You, God
Trusting that You’ll make
Out of me
- You know, everything I am is everything that God wants me to be right now (I hope). So many things that I have done within the past two years, I have done because I believe with all my heart that God told me to or told me not to. I don’t know why but realizing that everything you are is because of God just makes you take a step or two back. If you’re living according to God’s Word and His will for your life, who you are is who He has created and called you to be and that is astounding. It’s painful knowing that day-in and day-out I have to deny myself, but it’s relieving in knowing that God has saved you from yourself.
- I also found out that my mother is getting married.