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Number Two

Recently, a married, 42 year-old father of three daughters asked me if I ever considered being the “other woman.” First of all, who “considers” that? You don’t wake up one morning and decide that you’re going to make yourself not even second-best because you might be there, but only in the shadows and no one can know about you. And mind you, I do not know this man.

Is there anything, and someone please point it out to me if there is, about me that says that I cannot be someone’s number one? Anything?! Guy after guy and man after man. Seriously, I don’t know what it is about me that would make multiple people think that I’m only good enough to be there if I am kept a secret.

I’m not throwing myself at anyone, I’m not hinting things at anyone, I’m not dressing in a manner that’s dirty-thought-provoking… So what exactly am I doing or not doing? Someone, anyone, please, please, tell me.


3 thoughts on “Number Two

  1. I know it’s insane. Totally. I have had two one night stands with a married man and truly, it was nothing. No interest in following up on anything with either of them. I cant explain or justify it. It was what it was. I have been the other woman once in someone elses dating relationship and I have cheated on someone I was dating twice. Both former beaus I cheated on I remember as the two favorite men I ever dated and they set the gold standard for me about what I ought to expect from a man. When I was 20, my uncle confessed to being molested by his father. My uncle at this point, was an MD, transcultural psychotherapist with a additional degree in journalism that he used as a correspondant with NBC Asia. This drug up my own memories of abuse and with the exception of the cheating on the two high school boyfriends, the adultery came after that. It’s only 15 years later, that I am putting those pieces together. Right now, I would do anything, including being a mistress to reunite with one of those high school boyfriends. At this point, he DOES NOT deserve me. And there is more than a little conspiracy in that narrative.

    • Wow, thank you for sharing that with me! I cannot trace it back to anything or relate it to something psychological, but maybe a psychologist could! But really, thank you for being so open. It’s so great to know that you’re not the only one sometimes. 🙂

      • After reading your post, I actually was crazy enough to contact the ex I was talking about. We had a horrible break up. God awful and horrible. It’s a long story but he is a recovering addict. To make a long story short, another old flame of his from high school stepped into some of his legal troubles, paid his fines and fees and bought him a 68 corvette so he could give his car to his son for his 16 birthday. He then over the course of a few months, said he was going to marry her and moved into her 24 thousand square foot beach home in Panama City. Devastated is just the tip of the ice berg. I contacted him today and asked him to read my blog. If you want to see what this kind of “relationship” looks and sounds like when your trying to be level headed and honest as possible before you commit a crime punishable by law in some states, you may want to read my current post.

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