I Am A Murderer.

1 John 3:15, NLT: “Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them.”

I want to so badly say that I hate him. I want to so badly.

I want to forgive him. I want to be able to say that I forgive him and mean it. But I can’t.

I just want him to apologize. Who with a heart leads someone on to something that they have always wanted then drops off the face of the earth like nothing has happened?

I’m over it. I’m over him. But I am not over what happened… All these months later, it still hurts and I don’t know why.

It’s alright though. What doesn’t kill you…

I don’t want to be a murderer. I don’t want to have hardness in my heart. I don’t want to have bad thoughts of someone the second I hear the name or see someone who looks like him, but it’s so, so hard.

I just want to be completely over this heartache.

Why can’t I be completely over this heartache..?

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