“Es parte de un propósito y todo bien saldrá.”

How many times have we sang the songs and prayed the prayers asking the LORD to have His will and declaring that we are not our own? When the time comes and God does exactly what you’ve asked for, do we complain and give up or do we draw near and desire for HIS will to be done?
It’s funny how God can be doing something amazing in us and we become so blind to it due to our feelings. God sees each tear and all of your suffering and it is not in vain. Through the deep and restless waters, God has never left and will never leave our side. Emmanuel. What a sweet reminder and a wonderful promise. And when God makes a promise, there is nothing in the world–sickness, loneliness, joblessness–that could get in the way of God’s master plan.

Crying Out

I cry out

For Your hand of mercy to heal me

I am weak

And I need Your love to free me

O, LORD, my Rock

My strength in weakness

Come rescue me, O LORD

There’s something about crying out to the LORD in your weakest. There’s something so comforting, before anything has even changed, about knowing that God has heard your cry and will answer, heal, and mend you in His time.

I was listening to Isaiah 38 last night (en Español) and this stuck out to me:

In those days Hezekiah became sick and was at the point of death. And Isaiah the prophet the son of Amoz came to him, and said to him, “Thus says the LORD: Set your house in order, for you shall die, you shall not recover.” Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, and said, “Please, O LORD, remember how I have walked before you in faithfulness and with a whole heart, and have done what is good in your sight.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

Then the word of the LORD came to Isaiah: “Go and say to Hezekiah, Thus says the LORD, the God of David your father: I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears. Behold, I will add fifteen years to your life. I will deliver you and this city out of the hand of the king of Assyria, and will defend this city.

Isaiah 38:1-6, ESV

 

En aquellos días Ezequías enfermó de muerte. Y vino a él el profeta Isaías hijo de Amoz, y le dijo: Jehová dice así: Ordena tu casa, porque morirás, y no vivirás.

Entonces volvió Ezequías su rostro a la pared, e hizo oración a Jehová,

y dijo: Oh Jehová, te ruego que te acuerdes ahora que he andado delante de ti en verdad y con íntegro corazón, y que he hecho lo que ha sido agradable delante de tus ojos. Y lloró Ezequías con gran lloro.

Entonces vino palabra de Jehová a Isaías, diciendo:

Ve y di a Ezequías: Jehová Dios de David tu padre dice así: He oído tu oración, y visto tus lágrimas; he aquí que yo añado a tus días quince años.

Y te libraré a ti y a esta ciudad, de mano del rey de Asiria; y a esta ciudad ampararé.

Isaías 38:1-6, RVR1960

 

I’m not sure what more there is to say… but how awesome is it that we have a God who hears our prayers, studies our hearts, and sees our tears. Praise the LORD. Gloria Dios.

 

 

Heart of the Matter

It was never hard to forgive myself for getting below a 2.0 GPA my first semester in college. It was my first semester and it’s a lot more common to do poorly than to do exceedingly well, especially when the only class you’re taking is biology lecture and lab! It wasn’t difficult to forgive myself for my behavior and mindset in high school. I was 15 and 16 years-old and let’s just leave it at that. But for some reason it was so difficult and exceedingly painful for me to forgive myself for hurting someone I loved. Regardless of the fact that your first love is indeed your first love and who ever gets that right? Eventually people do if they stay with it but to knock it out of the park your first time at bat is not very likely, and that is fine.

That is the last thing, to my limited knowledge, that really bothered me and kept me up at night. I couldn’t help but think of myself as some terrible person who ruined what she had and took everything for granted. But you know what? No one gets it right first time around. And if they do, many blessings y felicidades to them! But odds are, we don’t ever see it coming nor do we catch ourselves in the act because we’re so blind to everything we’re doing and naturally, we think we are right.

It’s so easy to victimize yourself but it is so hard to sit back and look at the whole situation, including yourself. What did you do? What did you say? How did you provoke a certain reaction? Why were you not being completely loving? I said it before, it is so hard to do it but it is even more difficult to realize that we have to do it. Stop pointing the finger at everyone else and look at yourself. Once you do, odds are you will not like what you see and that’s okay. As long as everything inside of you wants to reach out, apologize, and do your best to heal that wound or those wounds of the other person/people then that is good. It’s good to feel pain. There is a time for it.

“More of You, less of me.” God will strip you bare of yourself in order to bring you where He’s called you to be. Abraham was told to offer up his son to die. Hosea was told to marry a prostitute. Joseph was told to marry a woman who was pregnant. God told Abraham to offer up his son to see how much he loved Him. Of course in the end Abraham does not offer have to up his son, but he was given a glimpse of what it would soon be like for God to really offer His one and only Son. Hosea was told to marry a prostitute to feel just a little bit of the anger and jealousy and hurt that God felt when Israel would worship other gods, or in other words, when Israel would commit adultery, just as the prostitute did. Joseph was told to marry a pregnant woman despite the fact that any unmarried woman who had sexual relations was to be stoned to death for being a shame to her family and “promiscuous while living in her father’s house.” God told him to do this (for I’m sure more reasons than this) in order to receive his blessing because he had favor in the eyes of the LORD. My goodness. Now, how hard is that? How hard is it to completely lay yourself aside and almost purposely kill your beloved son? How hard is it to marry a woman knowing that she will cheat on you, with everyone else knowing it as well? How hard is it to marry a woman who appears to be an utter disgrace? God asks us to do so many things that are painful, but it is in order for us to build and to draw near, or nearer, to Him. If we want to be used by God, we can’t walk around with the same fluff that everyone else has. We have to be put through the fire and burned in order to remove any impurities or qualities that God does not desire us to have. It hurts, it’s painful, it’s hard, we cry, we agonize, but we come out of it all brand new. If we trust in God and continue on through the pain and trials, we will come out exactly how God wants us to be.

Breaking off a relationship was in God’s will for me. It was in God’s will for the both of us. I never would have felt that inescapable feeling and stirring of my heart to part ways time and time again if that wasn’t the case. What was most painful about it all was that in my heart, I wanted to stay but in my heart, I knew that I couldn’t. How confusing is it to have your heart telling you to leave and to stay with the one you love? This greatly influenced indecisiveness, back-and-forth, tug-and-pull, heartache, sadness, everything. So why, then, was it so hard to forgive myself if I now know that I was just being emotional-full human? My assumption is because it dealt with someone I love. What’s even stranger is that he hurt me as well, but I always forgave him, and for the most part, instantly. All he had to say was, “I’m sorry” and I would gladly say, “It’s okay, boyfriend,” while we were together or just a simple, “It’s okay,” while we were not and I meant it. I guess when it’s yourself that you’re looking at, you feel like you know better or that you should know better and that your behavior and actions are unacceptable and inexcusable. Well, it was that way for me at least. But at the right time, you have to realize that it is okay, you are okay, and that you have to forgive yourself.

For a short while, questions came to mind and I asked myself, “Shouldn’t we live life enjoying it to the fullest every day?” “Shouldn’t we do what makes us happy and avoid what makes us upset?” “Shouldn’t we follow our hearts and fulfill all of our desires?” No. The answer is, “No.” We are here to bring glory to God on earth, then worship Him forever in Heaven. That is all.

Because It Happened

Smiling

Because it happened

Dancing

Because it happened

Laughing

Because it happened

Understanding

Because it happened

Thanking

Because it happened.

I never understood why someone would say, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” Obviously my response was, “Why would I smile?? IT’S OVER.” But I’ve recently come to the better realization that God allows us to go through everything He puts us through for a reason. Whether it is something happy or sad, I’ve learned to rejoice. When I think about high school (goodness gracious), I can SMILE because everything that has happened taught me how to value myself, what to look for in a person, and helped me better understand what to expect in a male. When I think about the hard times my family has gone through, I can SMILE because everything that has happened has made me value my family even more and understand the importance of not only having a family, but BEING a family. When I think about my past relationship, I can SMILE because everything that has happened has taught me an unbelievable amount of things about myself, my relationships, and about really listening to God. When I think about “David,” we’ll call him, I can SMILE because everything that has happened taught me to STOP, look at the situation, look at my motives, look inside myself, know my self-worth, think and consider everything about the other person, and to really, above all else, focus on God. I did not understand anything at first and I still do not understand everything now, but I’ve learned something so important about myself, people, and other vital things.

I can smile through everything. YOU can smile through everything! And why not do it? What’s frowning ever gotten anyone? Wrinkles, darling. Wrinkles.

So smile. 🙂