No, no, no, no, noooo!

What. Is. WRONG with me?!

This rollercoaster of emotions seems to be never-ending. I feel like a terrible person for thinking these thoughts and desiring these things… but I can’t help it.

Why why WHY, no matter how long it’s been, do I always end up here? How in the world do I always feel so “good” and “free” and just full of all this joy but then I ALWAYS find myself here again?

It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all. I hate to be complaining but I did not ask for this.

I’m happy. I am so happy… So why do I feel so sad?

Reasons Why I’m Happay

– God is so amazing. To fall in love with God is to fall in love with the One Who is everything.
– I have great friends! I feel the love from back home and the love I feel here is insane! Gloria Dios!
– I just read more of my favorite book of the Bible: ÉXODO! Y sí, la leí en español. 🙂
– “Y habitaré entre los hijos de Israel, y seré su Dios. Y conocerán que Yo soy Jehová su Dios, Que los saqué de la tierra de Egipto, para habitar en medio de ellos. Yo Jehová su Dios. (Éxodo 29:45, 46 RVR60)” That right there! God is just AMAZING!
– The day is finally over and I’m in the bed. PRAISE GOD. Tuesdays are the worst.
– Chelsea gave me hugs today! Many hugs!
– I have the greatest dad ever and I love him so!
– I love my mom!
– I attend the greatest undergraduate school in the world!
– God is good!

I’m just so happy. 🙂

Seasons

I went to Bible study last night and I am feeling better than I have in what seems like such a long time. You can never leave God’s presence without being changed. I came in and they had already started. They were in Ecclesiastes discussing different seasons of life. In my mind, all I could think was, “Well what season am I in?… What kind of season is this?… Ecclesiastes is the most depressing book in the Bible!” Eventually I opened up and shared what I was feeling and thinking and the people there that I knew and that I had never seen before just began pouring into me. Everything they said made so much sense to me.

At the end of last year, I said that I felt like 2014 was going to be different. I still feel the same way. The end of this year will not be the same as it has been. I know I’ll look back and see all the wonderful things God has done. Basically, and in short, what I took last night from the study was that God cannot bring me to where He wants me to be this year or in this next “season” if I am not prepared. I visited a church while I was at school and the pastor had all these ladders on the stage. It’s a contemporary church and I didn’t really understand but I went with it and in the end found it so helpful. In all, he was saying that God may try to bring us to a new level, or to a new ladder, but we are so comfortable with where we are that we don’t want to move. A friend of mine was speaking to me last night and she said all of last year was just God breaking her down and how it was so emotional for her, but she began finding out so many things about herself that she had no idea was there. She even said that she began apologizing to people who had hurt her from years back. She no longer focused on what people did to her, but what she had done. That made so much sense. Lately, all I am able to think about is what I did to my ex-boyfriend. He’s done things to me but I’d be the biggest liar in the world if I said I’ve never done anything to him. I’ve done things and said things that provoked him, with and without my realizing it. It hurts a lot more when you realize that you hurt someone, especially someone you love, than when someone you love hurts you.

Almost every night I would lie in bed wondering why I was so sad. I would wonder where all this pain came from because I thought I had dealt with it already. I would try to figure out why every night there would be something new to cry about. But like they all said, it’s a season. I have found out so much about myself these past few weeks and I know I would not be able to go to this next place in my life if I had held onto those things. I never realized I was so selfish, I never realized I was inconsiderate, I never realized I never fully dealt with the pain of leaving my ex-boyfriend. Some things you just push down so far that you don’t even realize that they are there. But God uproots them to eliminate everything completely. God is holy so we must also be holy. How can a selfish, ignorant, bitter girl be taken to do something she’s never done before? We have to get rid of every last bit of that and I know that is what God is doing.

For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, NLT

I don’t know where God is bringing me or what He plans to do, but search me, LORD. Search me and find every fault that is within me. Find in me things that I am aware and unaware of, O God. For You and Your glory. “Más de Ti, menos de mi.” That is serious and that is seriously painful. But God will not leave us to it alone. Dios ES conmigo. God IS with me and He is not going anywhere. I love saying it in Spanish. Normally it’s, “Dios esta conmigo.” But “esta” can be “here today and gone tomorrow.” No, God is with me always. Dios es conmigo. He lives in me, so I abide in HIm.

I went to sleep happy. I woke up happy. I went through the day happy. I am happy.

I was a little worried though, I’ll admit. There have been times that I am happy, think of something, and return back to square one. But the only thing that got me [just a little] sad was the fact that I love to love! I’m not yearning for a boyfriend or a relationship or anything, I just miss loving someone, you know? I miss making sure that someone is cared for, well-pleased, and happy. Obviously it will happen again one day… but of course we all have those nights. Well, maybe… I don’t know. I’m not missing being loved, I’m missing loving. Being loved would be great but I am okay. However, loving someone romantically is such a blessing and such a privilege. Some day soon. And if you are reading this and have someone to love, love them. Really, really love them. Like God loves you.

But anyway, I’m at such peace, such peace. And if I do get a little down again, I’m leaving for school on Monday, so I’ll be back with my Gordon girls to cheer me up and pray for and with me, and that is the best. 🙂 But I can’t help but want to see him one more time. I don’t know why. It wouldn’t help anything. I guess I just want some face-to-face closure. That’s what he did before. I wish we could just once more and the right way this time. But things are different now. I know it won’t happen, but I thought it’d be worth writing down. Even if it did happen, I’d probably forget everything I want to say then end up writing it all on here anyway. I’m probably just feeling this way because I’ve spent the last few hours in the house by myself. Lord knows when I get to thinking, I get to thinking. I don’t know. Sometimes when I’m in the house and I’m to myself (which is pretty much all the time since my car has been in and out of the shop), I’ve been thinking of what I would be doing if he and I were still talking… and with my father not being a factor, we’d be together every second we could possibly be before I left. As soon as he got out of work tonight and tomorrow, I know we’d be together up until the last possible second. But of course, we, as usual, would have no idea what to do and spend most of the time in the car, haha. I can sometimes play out full scenes in my head. Monday morning, too. We’d both go to sleep and wake up really early to be together one more time. You know, we’re different but when it comes to the other, we are just the same. Don’t mind my pleasant reminiscing… At least it’s pleasant. And I’m not sad! I do wish I could see him though. As friends. But deep down inside, I really don’t think he would want to see me at all for anything. He probably wouldn’t even want to catch a glance. I’m sure he’s had it with me and I don’t blame him. We put each other through a lot… But I do sincerely miss my friend. And I do sincerely hope we are able to see each other again. One day.

But anyway again, I really hope and pray that this peace stays. Being sad all the time really stinks. It’s okay to be sad, but for the right reasons and in the right season.

Feeling Down? A Little Bored? Here’s What To Do!

A wonderful list from me to you… that took a really long time so I hope you like it. 😀

– Pray to God

– Read your Bible

– Remember how BLESSED you are

– Eat a good meal

– Make and/or eat some homemade Rice Krispie Treats (with way too many marshmallows)

– Get a goodnight forehead kiss from your youngest sibling

– Hug someone

– Hug someone else!

– Be nice to someone

– Sponsor a child

– Start a conversation

– Buy a homeless person lunch

– Help out someone somewhere!

– Learn ‘The Cup Song!’

– Listen to country music!

– Yell, “Blake Shelton!” in a Southern accent just because!

– Have a staring contest

– Have a thumb war

– Play tug-of-war

– Play I Declare War

– Play Apples-To-Apples

– Play Heads Up!

– Play Seven Up!

– Play Taboo!

– Play Charades

– Play Monopoly and only get through half of the game because it takes forever to finish

– Play Hungry, Hungry Hippos

– Play Uno!

– Play Uno elimination and try to remain friends

– Tell a good joke

– Tell a bad joke

– Tell a joke that doesn’t make any sense

– Talk like Barack Obama!

– Make a triple-decker peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

– Make grilled cheese! (Because EVERYBODY loves grilled cheese)

– Go driving around and dance in your car!

– Learn how to play the guitar

– Air guitar!

– Pretend you know how to play the piano!

– Search snowflake photography!

– Freeze a sheet of velvet and catch snowflakes on it without them melting!

– Watch ‘Say Yes To The Dress’

– Watch ‘The Prince of Egypt’

– Watch ‘Pocahontas’

– Watch ‘Despicable Me’

– Watch ‘Despicable Me 2’

– Watch ‘Toy Story’

– Watch ‘Toy Story 2’

– Try to avoid ‘Toy Story 3’ (tears will be shed)

– Watch “Stuff Youth Pastors Say” on YouTube

– Watch “Stuff Christian Singles Hear” on YouTube

– Watch ‘Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood’ by yourself or with a small child!

– Have a ‘Mean Girls’ quote war!

– Learn a song in another language!

– Spend a night in a hotel just because!

– Go to the airport just because!

– Look at a picture of a baby

– Hold a baby

– Play with a baby

– Have a baby (if you know what I mean 😉 but only if you’re married!)

– Get married!

– Propose!

– Stay together forever!

– Do the twist!

– Do the mashed potato!

– Do the boogaloo!

– Do the swim!

– Do the bird!

– Do the duck!

– Do the monkey!

– Do the Madison Time!

– Do the Hokey Pokey!

– Play the hand game from ‘The Color Purple!’

– Act like Sophia from ‘The Color Purple!’

– Watch ‘The Color Purple’

– Watch ‘The Blues Brothers!’

– Watch ‘Ferris Bueler’s Day Off’

– Go out for Mexican food because it is ALWAYS a good time for Mexican food!

– Wear a sombrero!

– Wear a cowboy hat!

– Wear a Cat in the Hat hat!

– Play dress up

– Put on old costumes

– Be a cheerleader!

– Watch a sports game and act like you know what’s going on!

– Sing a song you don’t know!

– Rewrite the words to a song!

– Rap really hardcore about something really heartfelt!

– Pretend to be a gangster!

– Play Ad Lib!

– Go sight-seeing

– Go to a place you’ve been to a million times and pretend you’re sight-seeing

– Get lost with someone you’d love to get lost with 😉

– See a Broadway musical!

– Stalk your best friend(s) on social media!

– Read your favorite book!

– Read your favorite childhood book!

– Read The Jungle Book!

– Figure out the proper ways to use italics, underlines, and quotation marks!

– Go to a store just to try on clothes

– Thank a janitor

– Thank a bus driver

– Thank a police officer

– Thank a security guard

– Thank a nurse

– Thank a school nurse

– Thank a pastor

– Thank your pastor

– Thank your deacon(s)

– Thank an elder

– Thank your parent(s)

– Thank your teacher(s)

– Yell, “IT’S OPTIMUS PRIME!” every time you see a 16-wheeler

– Play that old game you used to play on the bus to try to get a truck driver to blow the horn

– Dance to Kung Fu Fighting, or whatever that song is called

– Dance to Cell Block Tango from ‘Chicago!’

– Dance to Party All The Time by Eddie Murphy and Rick James!

– Dance to Rico Suave by Gerardo!

– Dance to Sweet Caroline (So good! So good! So good!) by Neil Diamond

– Dance to Livin’ On A Prayer by Bon Jovi

– Dance to Respect by Aretha Franklin

– Dance to Hound Dog by Elvis

– Dance to Tequila by The Champs

– Dance to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper

– Dance to This Is How We Do It by Montell Jordan

– Dance to The Twist by Chubby Checker

– Dance to Let’s Twist Again by Chubby Checker

– Dance to Isn’t She Lovely? by Stevie Wonder

– Dance to Sir Duke by Stevie Wonder

– Dance to I Wish by Stevie Wonder

– Sing like Michael Bolton

– Have family time

– Create a new outfit with old clothes!

– Go somewhere fancy!

– Get your hair done

– Do your own hair

– Curl your hair

– Straighten your hair

– Braid your hair

– Twist your hair

– CRIMP YOUR HAIR

– Go shopping!

– Eat ice cream

– Make ice cream

– Take someone out for ice cream

– Eat straight up whipped cream from the bottle

– Eat some Reese’s (or any other form of chocolate)

– Bake cookies

– Skip the baking and eat the cookie dough (not too much… eggs, you know)

– Go apple picking and eat all the apples while you’re picking so you get them for free!

– Eat a cube (or whatever shape it is) of ice dipped in baking soda (my brother and I did this all the time when we were younger and it is good)

– Walk through the food court of the mall and get all the free samples you can get!

– Go on a virtual tour of a college or university online!

– Listen to Delilah on the radio

– Listen to ‘Schoolhouse Rock!’

– Watch ‘Happy Feet’

– Watch ‘Shark Tale’

– Watch ‘Finding Nemo’

– Watch ‘The Lion King’

– Watch ‘The Lion King 1 1/2’

– Watch ‘Shrek the Musical’

– Watch ‘The Brady Bunch Movie’

– Watch ‘Bring It On’

– Watch something with Will Ferrell

– Watch something with Adam Sandler

– Watch something with Rebel Wilson

– Watch something with Melissa McCarthy

– Watch ‘The Avengers’ then go save the world!

– Watch ‘Lilo & Stitch’

– Watch ‘Lilo & Stitch’ and act like you know how to hula dance!

– If you know how to, hula dance!

– Hula hoop!

– Challenge someone to a hula hoop contest!

– Get a massage!

– Give a massage!

– Have a girls’ night

– Have a girls’ day

– Have a bros’ night

– Have a dudes’ day

– Make a Pinterest and just get lost!

– Watch “Tom Brady’s Wicked Accent” on YouTube!

– Watch “Messy Mondays: How to Write a Worship Song (In 10 Minutes or Less)” on YouTube

– Watch “Angles Music Video by Peter Weatherall” on YouTube! (it was for a project… but it’s so funny)

– Watch “Harvard Tours Yale: The Game 2013” on YouTube! (FUNNIEST. PRANK. EVER.)

– Watch anything by Jefferson Bethke on YouTube

– Watch “People with no kids don’t know” on YouTube

– Watch “David After Dentist” on YouTube

– Watch the Spanish version of the VeggieTales theme song on YouTube

– Get lost on Just For Laughs Gags channel on YouTube

– Laugh your head off on Convos With My 2-year-old channel on YouTube

– Watch videos of the Ragtime Original Broadway Cast on YouTube

– Watch marriage proposals on YouTube!

– Watch flash mobs on YouTube!

– Watch Christian comedy!

– Watch all the dance numbers from ‘West Side Story!’

– Watch ‘Rugrats’

– Watch ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’

– Laugh at Wayne Brady’s old 90’s hairstyles while watching ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’

– Play a game from ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’

– Watch Tim Hawkins on YouTube!

– Go to Cracker Barrel!

– Test drive a car!

– Go to a car show

– Pretend you’re driving a car and make all the noises!

– Stick your hand out and pretend to be Thor!

– Make a movie!

– Make an Instagram

– Have a flashback to the 90s! (or whenever your childhood was)

– Play with dolls! (Well… maybe not this one so much.)

– Learn all the moves to One Billion Rising’s, Break The Chain!

– Go all day speaking in an accent!

– Skip!

– Buy a beanbag chair!

– Sponsor a child!

– Go to Panera!

– Make your bed!

– Learn Pig Latin

– Learn Latin

– Have a snowball fight!

– Build a snowman!

– Build a snowwoman!

– Build a snowdog!

– Build a snowhotdog!

– Build a snow family!

– Build a snow Eiffel Tower!

– Watch someone build something in the snow!

– Take a ferry somewhere!

– Take a train somewhere!

– Take a bus somewhere!

– Eat a huge slice of cake while saying, “NO REGRETS” before and after each bite

– Do your best Popeye impersonation!

– Snapchat with a friend!

– Snapchat with your best friend!

– Make a Snapchat!

– EAT/DRINK/BATHE IN CHOCOLATE

– Go to a wedding!

– Crash a party and be sure not to be thrown out or arrested!

– Skip rocks!

– Make up a dance!

– Go running through the woods yelling, “PEETA!!!!!!!!!”

– Make a paper mache volcano!

– Skip the volcano and just combine baking soda and vinegar and watch it explode!

– Watch ‘Zoom’ and do one of their experiments!

– Pretend you’re on ‘Zoom’ and make up a dumb experiment! (like “How To Make A Grill…” for your teeth, that is)

– #Type #using #as #many #hashtags #as #you #can (#nofilter)

– Talk using text talk! (e.g. lol, jk, rotfl)

– Wash your hair

– Tell someone about Jesus!

– Take a hot bath with a colored fizzy bomb

– Watch ‘Drake & Josh’

– Look at old family photos

– Reminisce on old memories

– Watch old videos

– Edit your Facebook

– Edit your LinkedIn

– Update your résumé

– Apply for a job for no reason!

– Sing Chapel of Love by Dixie Cups

– Sing Wouldn’t It Be Nice by the Beach Boys!

– Sing Lean On Me by Bill Withers

– Sing the Club Noveau version of Lean On Me (“We be jammin’! We be jammin’!”)

– Pretend you’re Jamaican!

– Don’t pretend you’re Jamaican in public!

– Practice your Spanish!

– Eat some more chocolate!

– Talk to an old friend

– Clean your room

– Get sugared up and cause trouble!

– Go to New York and take pictures with all the peculiar people!

– Go to New York and yell, “Hey, eff you, buddy!” to absolutely no one while crossing the street!

– Go to New York and take a gypsy cab! (They’re the fancy black ones!)

– Go for a hike

– Photoshop a picture to make it seem like you met a celebrity!

– Watch ‘VeggieTales’

– Watch ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’

– Watch ‘Everybody Hates Chris’

– Say to someone, “I don’t need this MESS! My man has two jobs!”

– Give yourself/get a facial

– Invite your friends over

– Take a picture of someone sleeping and send it to them later!

– Go for a jog

– Go for a run

– Play Just Dance!

– Go sledding down a hill of snow on lunch trays you forgot to return to the cafeteria

– Visit your old school

– Visit your old job (…if you dare)

– Throw a party

– Blow up balloons

– Watch ‘Fat Albert & The Cosby Kids’

– Watch ‘Fat Ablert’

– Watch ‘All That!’

– Watch “Know Your Stars” from ‘All That!’ on YouTube

– Watch ‘Kenan & Kel’

– Watch ‘The Amanda Show’

– Watch ‘Good Burger’ because it is now on Netflix!

– Send someone flowers

– Send yourself flowers

– Make funny faces in the mirror

– Make ugly faces in the mirror

– Watch the last inning of the Red Sox Mother’s Day Miracle

– Root for the Red Sox

– Boo the Yankees

– Give your best Southern accent

– Give your best SOUTHERN accent

– Give your best Massachusetts accent

– Give your best New York accent

– Give your best New Jersey accent

– Give your best Connecticut accent… LOL JK.

– Wrestle!

– Kiss your spouse

– Make a cake

– Make cupcakes

– Make a super duper deluxe ultra mega cake

– Tell someone, “Happy birthday!” even if it isn’t their birthday

– Yell at the top of your lungs, “GOD IS WITH US!”

– Yell at the top of your lungs while about to do something, “FOR ISRAEL!”

– Talk to a plant

– Talk to your dad

– Talk to your mom

– Talk to your dog

– Talk to your cat

– Talk to your iguana

– Talk to your parrot (but don’t say anything crazy!)

– Watch videos of Anjelah Johnson

– Walk around handing out Charms Lollipops and/or Tootsie Roll Pops!

– Dance all around by yourself

– Dance all around with someone else

– Dance really quickly to a slow song

– Dance really slowly to a fast song

– Find a playlist of the best Disney songs and sing along

– Watch Thomas Sanders’ vines!

– Watch David Lopez’s vines!

– Watch Comedian Chris’ vines!

– Watch Rudy Mancuso’s vines!

– Watch BatDad’s vines!

– Watch NigaHiga on Youtube!

– Eat some more chocolate!

– Ride your bike!

– Go knock over a BJ’s… bag of fruit snacks

– Eat some fruit snacks!

– Laugh for no reason whatsoever!

– Use the bathroom with the door open!

– While someone is walking behind you, pretend you’re in a horror movie and that the person is chasing you, then fall on the ground and scream!

– Watch ‘Daddy Daycare’

– Watch ’50 First Dates’

– Watch ‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’ OVER AND OVER AGAIN

– DO NOT WATCH ‘THE BOY IN THE STRIPED PAJAMAS’ FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, WHOEVER PETE IS, DO NOT DO IT

– Go to the beach

– Go to the park

– Go to your driveway

– Dance in the rain

– Dance in the snow

– Dance in the sun

– Stay inside if it’s hailing

– Watch a thunderstorm

– BUILD A FORT

– Text a random number telling them to have a great day!

– That last one was actually a really good idea so you should definitely do that

– Sing Seasons of Love from ‘RENT!’

– Sing Don’t Stop Believing by Journey!

– Tell a girl that she is beautiful!

– Tell a guy that he is super masculine!

– Hug a teddy bear!

– Watch “Beware the Teddy Bear” on YouTube! (Seriously, it’s hilarious)

– Watch ‘The Cosby Show’

– Watch ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’

– Sing the theme song to ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’

– Sing the theme song to ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ in public and wait for other people to sing along

– Do the Carlton

– Watch “Coca Cola Life – Ser Padres HD” on YouTube! (Seriously, it is the greatest thing on the Internet)

– Jump on your bed!

– Jump on someone else’s bed!

– Tell someone you love them!

– Go back for more chocolate!

– Blow someone a kiss!

– Look through your old yearbook(s)

– Try on crazy clothes!

– Workout

– Pretend to workout

– Attempt to workout with a friend but end up just taking pictures

– Eat some grapes

– Eat some strawberries

– Write a song about strawberries

– Watch Ben Phillips’ vines!

– Snuggle!

– Hug a small child!

– Take pictures in a photo booth!

– Take silly pictures in a photo booth!

– Take silly pictures ON Photo Booth if you have a Mac!

– Find someone’s Mac and take silly pictures on their Photo Booth!

– Leave crazy pictures on someone’s iPhone/iPod/iPad/iDon’tEvenKnow

– Drink some water

– Drink sparkling cider from fancy glasses

– Drink sparkling cider from the bottle

– Make lemonade while singing

– Watch ‘Doug’

– Watch ‘Hey Arnold!’

– Sing and dance to the ‘Hey Arnold!’ theme song!

– Sing and dance to all the songs from ‘Blues Clues’

– Sing and dance to all the songs from ‘Dora the Explorer’

– Sing and dance to all the songs from ‘Go, Diego, Go!’

– Do the Harlem Shake

– Do the REAL Harlem Shake

– Take down that Christmas tree!

– Wrap yourself, a friend, a sibling, a parent, whoever in Christmas lights and sing a song!

– Pretend you’re on one of those old Disney Channel commercials! (“Hi! I’m Jermane from That’s So Jermane and you’re watching Disney Channel!” *makes the top of Mickey’s head with wand* *smile* *pose*)

– Pretend you’re on American Idol

– Pretend you have a British accent, ya bloke!

– Find out what a “bloke” is!

– SMILE 😀

– Have a water balloon fight

– Play Don’t Let the Balloon Touch the Ground!

– Don’t say, “YOLO”

– Don’t say, “Turn up”

– Watch ‘Shrek’

– Skip to the end of ‘Shrek’ and dance to the music! (Do you see what I did there?)

– Eat a brownie!

– Make some brownies!

– Call Ghirardelli and tell them how AMAZING they are!

– Eat even MORE chocolate

– Watch ‘Hercules’ and sing along!

– Find an 11 year-old girl and do WHATEVER SHE WANTS TO DO (which will probably make her more happy than you but hey…)

– Make a crazy video

– Take a pretty picture

– Take a crazy picture

– Take an ugly picture and send it to your sibling and/or best friend!

– Make up your own language

– Babysit!

– Babysit for free!

– Babysit in exchange for a free haircut like I did 🙂

– Put on something red

– Tell someone they’re AMAZING!

– Hold hands with someone!

– Wash your hands!

– Take a shower

– Do your nails, ladies

– Trim your beard, guys… and maybe ladies, I don’t know

– Grow a Mario mustache

– PLAY MARIO KART

– Find that old GameBoy

– Find that old Nintendo

– Find that old GameCube (my favorite)

– Find that old Tamagotchi and clean up alllll its poop

– Find that old Furby

– Throw away that old Furby

– Visit a chocolate factory!

– Try something new in bed with your spouse tonight (bow chicka wow wow) 😉

– Make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for your spouse!

– Make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for your spouse while wearing an apron!

– Make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for your spouse while wearing a chef’s hat!

– Make breakfast, lunch, and dinner with your spouse while acting like the chef from ‘The Muppets!’

– Watch ‘The Muppets!’

– Pray with your significant other

– Pray for your significant other

– Read the Bible with your significant other

– Dance with your significant other

– Take pictures with your significant other

– Kiss your significant other

– Love the bananas out of your significant other

– Leave love notes and cute videos for your significant other

– Make up a top secret super cool members only totally rad and awesome crazy mad powers handshake with your significant other

– Start a Bible study!

– Join a Bible study!

– Find out what your name means

– Google your name

– Create a blog!

– Create a vlog!

– Sing in the mirror!

– Dance in the mirror!

– Sing AND dance in the mirror!

– Create a new challenge where you eat a pack of Kool-Aid! (that stuff is POTENT)

– Make a dry ice bomb! (with adult supervision)

– Brush your teeth

– Make someone’s day!

– Give yourself a pedicure

– Make a homemade facial scrub with strawberries and sugar!

– Make a homemade deep conditioner with honey, grapeseed oil, coconut milk, an egg, and Greek yogurt

– Make a homemade foot… helping… thingy…

– Light a candle

– Buy fake candles

– Turn on some oldies

– Blast Marvin Gaye’s Ain’t No Mountain High Enough and just go from there!

– Go back for more chocolate!

Whatever you do today, tonight, tomorrow, next Thursday, do something that makes you HAPPY. Sitting around moping all day does nothing for you, your immune system, your hair, your friends, your family, your pet, your chocolate obsession, nadie y nada! Sonríe! Smile!

Because It Happened

Smiling

Because it happened

Dancing

Because it happened

Laughing

Because it happened

Understanding

Because it happened

Thanking

Because it happened.

I never understood why someone would say, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” Obviously my response was, “Why would I smile?? IT’S OVER.” But I’ve recently come to the better realization that God allows us to go through everything He puts us through for a reason. Whether it is something happy or sad, I’ve learned to rejoice. When I think about high school (goodness gracious), I can SMILE because everything that has happened taught me how to value myself, what to look for in a person, and helped me better understand what to expect in a male. When I think about the hard times my family has gone through, I can SMILE because everything that has happened has made me value my family even more and understand the importance of not only having a family, but BEING a family. When I think about my past relationship, I can SMILE because everything that has happened has taught me an unbelievable amount of things about myself, my relationships, and about really listening to God. When I think about “David,” we’ll call him, I can SMILE because everything that has happened taught me to STOP, look at the situation, look at my motives, look inside myself, know my self-worth, think and consider everything about the other person, and to really, above all else, focus on God. I did not understand anything at first and I still do not understand everything now, but I’ve learned something so important about myself, people, and other vital things.

I can smile through everything. YOU can smile through everything! And why not do it? What’s frowning ever gotten anyone? Wrinkles, darling. Wrinkles.

So smile. 🙂

All Is Well

So I’m over it. I’m over this whole thing… If God says, “Yes” then GREAT. If God says, “No” then I’ll have someone even better. It is silly to sit and wait on someone with no guaranteed promises. But I am fine… three weeks later, I am fine. Funny how we were three weeks talking then three weeks for me to be fully alright! I do miss it though. It was nice while it lasted. It gave me a reason to smile, and maybe that was its sole purpose. Now I am just waiting for God to give me an even BIGGER reason. Whether it is him or someone else. I guess it doesn’t matter anymore… I’d never deny God’s blessings!! 🙂

Maybe you think I am taking this too seriously. I mean, it was just three weeks. But you don’t understand. I felt something that I have never felt before. It was respect. Now by no means did I like him because of respect. Because what if that went away? Would I still like him? Anyway, I like(d) him because of everything he (is and) was. Along with his cuteness. There were things I did not like, of course, but man… I really thought, and still think, that he was something. But back to taking this too seriously. I am going to make this loud and clear:

I am not looking for a boyfriend.

A boyfriend, in my mind, is someone you spend time with, hold hands with, kiss with, make stupid mistakes with, then break up with. If I wanted that then… I don’t even know. It’s silly to me. I am waiting for God to send me the one who I will give myself to, who will take me, and who I will spend my entire life cherishing. I think I’ve said this before but I am not looking to get married tomorrow or anytime soon. But to know who I am going to marry would mean so much to me. Fortunately though, I know God is preparing a mighty man for me. That itself allows me to sit in the comfort of knowing that one day, he will come. Maybe I’ve met him already, maybe I have yet to, but I will. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but he will come. I’m not worried. 😉