Falling in Love

We fall in love with personality,

the words they say

and their behavior,

the thoughts and opinions,

the moments you make and remember;

we lust with our eyes

and love with our hearts.

I would say it is completely possible

to fall in love with someone

without having a physical contact

because it is a pure, raw love for them,

who they are

and what they’re about.

Perhaps it’s the best way to fall in love.

You fall in love with the sight of their soul,

not the sight through our eyes –

which may be misleading.

Crying Out

I cry out

For Your hand of mercy to heal me

I am weak

And I need Your love to free me

O, LORD, my Rock

My strength in weakness

Come rescue me, O LORD

There’s something about crying out to the LORD in your weakest. There’s something so comforting, before anything has even changed, about knowing that God has heard your cry and will answer, heal, and mend you in His time.

I was listening to Isaiah 38 last night (en Español) and this stuck out to me:

In those days Hezekiah became sick and was at the point of death. And Isaiah the prophet the son of Amoz came to him, and said to him, “Thus says the LORD: Set your house in order, for you shall die, you shall not recover.” Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, and said, “Please, O LORD, remember how I have walked before you in faithfulness and with a whole heart, and have done what is good in your sight.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

Then the word of the LORD came to Isaiah: “Go and say to Hezekiah, Thus says the LORD, the God of David your father: I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears. Behold, I will add fifteen years to your life. I will deliver you and this city out of the hand of the king of Assyria, and will defend this city.

Isaiah 38:1-6, ESV

 

En aquellos días Ezequías enfermó de muerte. Y vino a él el profeta Isaías hijo de Amoz, y le dijo: Jehová dice así: Ordena tu casa, porque morirás, y no vivirás.

Entonces volvió Ezequías su rostro a la pared, e hizo oración a Jehová,

y dijo: Oh Jehová, te ruego que te acuerdes ahora que he andado delante de ti en verdad y con íntegro corazón, y que he hecho lo que ha sido agradable delante de tus ojos. Y lloró Ezequías con gran lloro.

Entonces vino palabra de Jehová a Isaías, diciendo:

Ve y di a Ezequías: Jehová Dios de David tu padre dice así: He oído tu oración, y visto tus lágrimas; he aquí que yo añado a tus días quince años.

Y te libraré a ti y a esta ciudad, de mano del rey de Asiria; y a esta ciudad ampararé.

Isaías 38:1-6, RVR1960

 

I’m not sure what more there is to say… but how awesome is it that we have a God who hears our prayers, studies our hearts, and sees our tears. Praise the LORD. Gloria Dios.

 

 

Talk to Her – i.a

When you talk to her, talk to her
Like you want somebody to talk to you mama
Don’t get smart with her, have a heart to heart with her
Just like you would with your daughter

‘Cause everything you do or say
You gotta live with it everyday

She’s somebody’s baby
She’s somebody’s sista
She’s somebody’s mama

Now when you go to her, speak truthfully
Be honest as you can be, from your heart
You’re in a situation, where you’re losing patience
Take some time and look her in the eye

When you just can’t find the words you want
And it’s hard to reach the point

Where you both can understand
Don’t just tell the truth
Tell the whole truth
It’ll make a better man out of you

It doesn’t matter if she’s wearing
A mini skirt or a business suit
Whether she’s 25 or 99,
Treat her the way your mama taught you to

She could be the Queen of Sheba
She could be a school teacher{!}
Homemaker or a lawyer

Now let’s keep it real
Nothing in this world could ever exist
Without its opposite:
There has to be a sun and moon
A man and a woman
And that’s just the way it is

When you talk to her, talk to her
Like you want somebody to talk to your mama
Just like you fight for your sister
If you knew that somebody dissed her

How you gonna care for your daughter
Turn around and talk bad about her mama?
Same way you listen to your auntie
Never interrupt while she speaks

Make your words sweet like candy
As if you were talking to your granny

If you really loved then say so
If you really needed then say so
Love the way she thinks, say so
You love the way she speaks, say so
When you need some good conversation, say so
If you want her in your life, say so
You want her to be your wife, say so
Tell her she’s your best friend- say so
You’ll be there to the end- say so
If you’re thinking about leaving, say so
If you wonder where she’s going, say so
If you need to breathe with her, say so
You just want to be with her, say so
If you love her hair, SAY SO 🙂
If you want her there, say so
Tell her if you really wanted her- say so
If you feel like loving, say so

This song played (by india.arie) while I was studying and I had to stop to post it…I’m at a loss for words with this song.

The Writer of Love Stories

She is beautiful, but no man sees her. She is sweet, kind, and loving, yet the other women who run after men are always chosen, instead of her.

Oh beautiful woman, if only you knew that you are hidden and cherished by the Writer of love stories, the One Who is preparing you for a wonderful future.

He sits alone. The kind, caring one who honors the hearts of women and shows what true manhood is. Saving his heart for a lifetime woman, not willing to settle for a moment’s pleasure. Yet the “bad boys” always seem to win the princess, as he quietly waits for his queen.

Oh kind man, if only you knew that you are reserved for the best. If you only knew that God is planning a helpmeet perfect for you, for you are chosen and set apart.

Don’t you know that true love waits? Oh yes. True love waits for all things. Through all things, true love waits.

Prayer for a Friend

Lord, I lift my friend to You, I’ve done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You
Complicated circumstances have clouded his view
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

I fear that I won’t have the words that he needs to hear
I pray for Your wisdom, O God, and a heart that’s sincere
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You
My best friend in the world, I know he means much more to You
I want so much to help him, but this is something he has to do
And Lord, I lift my friend up to You

‘Cause there’s a way that seems so right to him
But You know where that leads
He’s becoming a puppet of the world, too blind to see the strings
Lord, I lift my friend up to You
My friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You, I’ve done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You

I Am A Murderer.

1 John 3:15, NLT: “Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them.”

I want to so badly say that I hate him. I want to so badly.

I want to forgive him. I want to be able to say that I forgive him and mean it. But I can’t.

I just want him to apologize. Who with a heart leads someone on to something that they have always wanted then drops off the face of the earth like nothing has happened?

I’m over it. I’m over him. But I am not over what happened… All these months later, it still hurts and I don’t know why.

It’s alright though. What doesn’t kill you…

I don’t want to be a murderer. I don’t want to have hardness in my heart. I don’t want to have bad thoughts of someone the second I hear the name or see someone who looks like him, but it’s so, so hard.

I just want to be completely over this heartache.

Why can’t I be completely over this heartache..?

Heart of the Matter – i.a

I’ve been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I’m learning them again
I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if… even if you don’t love me anymore

Late Night Self-Reflection: My Heart

I have always been a romantic… ever since I was little. My father told me the other day that when I was little (3 or 4, I believe), I would sing this Stevie Wonder song about love. I can’t remember which song it was but he said that I was singing this grown-up song about love and I was so serious! Haha, he was surprised, but it’s no surprise now. More recently, he told me the things that I had to work on. One of them was having such an open heart. I don’t open myself up to everyone. You actually have to be some kind of wonderful in order for me to do so. But within the past three years I had fallen for a male, then ended up very much liking two others. I was with the guy I fell for for a little over 18 months until I broke up with him. I didn’t want to, but I felt like God was telling me that he was not the one for me. I ignored it for months but after a while, I had to show God Who I truly loved more. But anyway, I gave my all to this guy. If he ever asked for anything or told me to do anything, I’d do it… Not always the first time ;P but I would. I was head over heels. Smitten, if you will. And I cannot accentuate that enough. I opened up my heart completely to him. He was my first love… We did everything together and saw our futures standing side-by-side. So I started to act like his wife, unconsciously, but my lover turned on me, and I allowed it.

So after I ended it with him, I started talking to this guy who had liked me since the SIXTH GRADE. How adorable. He was everything I wanted but guess what! He had a girlfriend. I should say that that is a terrible, inevitable bad habit of mine… can’t ever like anyone who is single! It’s a shame. Anyway, he had the most complicated status of his relationship. But after a while, I realized that he wasn’t respecting me (obviously, right?). And I think the fact that he was and is so close to God and so into the Word and cares so much about souls blinded me. He is a man of God! Who cared if he broke the rules, right? Wrong. I opened up my heart to him… and I’m sure you can guess how the story ends. Disappointment. He ended up back with his girlfriend… back and forth actually. Idk, he’s single now. But now I’m over it and indifferent. But I cannot put all the blame on him. I knew he had a girlfriend. And though I stopped talking to him while he was in the relationship, I still shouldn’t have always been RIGHT there when he told me that it was over or they were on “break” or any of that. I am so silly sometimes. I just wish I could catch myself in the act. I thought something would come of it, so I had no problem waiting on the sidelines. Shame on me.

So after all that nonsense was over and after the year ended, I decided to start fresh. I did not and do not want any type of relationship that God does not want for me. I don’t want anyone touching me, whether it is just playing around or not. I don’t want to kiss anyone. I don’t want to hang out with anyone… And by “anyone,” I mean males, of course. What’s the point anyway? I don’t want to make memories with someone that I have to one day forget. I don’t want someone touching me or kissing me if I don’t belong to him. As of right now, I am the property of the God Most High and I live under the roof of my father. So to have anyone do anything to me would just be a shame. Now let me say, I am not going to wait until I’m married to kiss anyone. I might explode, haha. But when I meet up with the one that God has for me and I know without a doubt in my mind that he is the one for me, when I know that he feels the same, when he courts me, when he asks me to be “worldly” his (as in, his girlfriend), and when he promises me (I want him to promise) that he will be mine, that I will be his, that he will protect me, that he desires me to take care of him and his house, that his heart will belong to me and only me, and that he desires mine to be his and only his, THEN I will kiss him… haha. A lot of prereqs, huh? I just don’t want to give away my love to someone who will be forgotten. And if a man can do all this y sólo para mi, oh, he deserves five thousand kisses!

Now onto the most recent… You guys already know about him, if you’ve read earlier posts. That is, if I didn’t hide them. Well, if I did, this guy was just… oh my goodness. He just… I don’t even know. He was amazing. Still is, I’m sure. He was a gentleman. Still is, I know. He was respectful and respectable. Still is, of course. But things are different now. Maybe for the better. I’m sure you can guess what happened. I so foolishly and innocently opened my heart to him. All attention, no secrets, no restrictions. Mind you, it was nothing bad. It was never anything bad but… he was just going through something. It wasn’t the right time. Either that or I unknowingly did something terribly wrong. Either way, I unintentionally opened up. It just happened. Everything was so different and things looked so great. But of course…

One of my problems is that I open up my heart too easily. And to MAN. The only One I should be opening up my heart to is God and I should be patiently waiting for Him to place the one He made for me on my path. So that we may both, at the right time, open ourselves up to each other. Slowly and keeping all focus on not each other, but God. Easier said than done. I mean, it’ll be easy, I hope, to stop opening myself up, but sometimes… Okay, the most recent guy, I still like him, I do. And I used to think about him all the time. But after a while, I gave it up to God and I was fine! Of course he still crossed my mind but nothing too much. But now, I’ll see his name in the most random places or I’ll see a name that I used to call him in my Spanish book or I’ll be online looking at dresses and see an entire section of them that relate to his title or I’ll see something that would make him smile or laugh… Really? Come on, life, this has never happened before. Right when I had concentration too.

My dad also said that he believes that if I “found” a good Christian man, that I would be devoted to him for the rest of my life. If he gave his all to me and I believed that God would bless the relationship, I would be… That’s just how I am, and that is how I know I will be. One day, after a lot of growth and maturing, I will be able to give my mighty man of God and future husband all my love, which is everything he deserves.