Christian and Gay

I never understood homosexuality. For me, I was Paul, persecuting those who identified as “gay” or “lesbian.” I was never one to protest, tell people they’re going to hell, that God hates them, etc. I just didn’t understand how the two could mix: Christianity and homosexuality.

If you’re gay, okay. Live your life however you want. I’m not going to be angry with or oppose you.

But in terms of Christianity? It’s an abomination. It says so in our Bible. So why is it even a topic of conversation at churches and Christian schools, like mine?

I never believed that people “couldn’t help it” or were “born this way.” Not until…

…not until about two weeks ago. I made a new friend. She is gay. She is Christian. She loves God but finds herself attracted to girls. She told me that if she could “turn it off,” she would because it would make her life so much easier… but she can’t.

She’s prayed about it, she’s been prayed over, she’s spoken to her pastor, she’s met with a Christian counselor, and… nothing.

Life didn’t make sense for the longest when she told me her story. I was so confused. I still am.

What’s even more confusing? She likes me… And you know what’s crazy?

I like her too.

Falling in Love

We fall in love with personality,

the words they say

and their behavior,

the thoughts and opinions,

the moments you make and remember;

we lust with our eyes

and love with our hearts.

I would say it is completely possible

to fall in love with someone

without having a physical contact

because it is a pure, raw love for them,

who they are

and what they’re about.

Perhaps it’s the best way to fall in love.

You fall in love with the sight of their soul,

not the sight through our eyes –

which may be misleading.

Modesty

The thing about modesty is that it all revolves around love.

A love for the LORD that completely satisfies a woman in a such a way that she is able to resist the temptation to be affirmed by the eyes of men.

A love for others that will cause a woman to dress appropriately not only because she knows that a gentle and meek spirit is precious in the sight of God but also to guard the hearts of her brothers in faith, not allowing her body to distract them from honoring the LORD.

A love for women that are younger in the faith that are watching her and learning what it means to be a godly woman by her example. She is either teaching them that it is okay to put her body on display for the world to see or to clothe herself in godliness.

So the question to be asked is, how are you loving God and others with what you are wearing?

No, no, no, no, noooo!

What. Is. WRONG with me?!

This rollercoaster of emotions seems to be never-ending. I feel like a terrible person for thinking these thoughts and desiring these things… but I can’t help it.

Why why WHY, no matter how long it’s been, do I always end up here? How in the world do I always feel so “good” and “free” and just full of all this joy but then I ALWAYS find myself here again?

It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all. I hate to be complaining but I did not ask for this.

I’m happy. I am so happy… So why do I feel so sad?

Things to Remember

1. Remember, child, remember,
That God is in the sky,
That He looks on all we do
With an ever wakeful eye.

2. Remember, oh! remember,
That all the day and night,
He sees our thoughts and actions,
With an ever watchful sight.

3. Remember, child, remember,
That God is good and true;
That He wishes us to be
Like Him in all we do.

4. Remember that He hates
A falsehood or a lie-
Remember, He will punish
The wicked by-and-bye.

5. Remember, oh! remember,
That He is like a friend.
And He wishes us to be
Good, and happy in the end.

6. Remember, child, remember
To pray to Him in Heaven;
And if you have done wrong,
Oh! ask to be forgiven.

7. Be sorry, in your little prayer,
And whisper in His ear;
Ask His forgiveness and His love,
And He will surely hear.

8. Yes, He will hear thee, and forgive
Like a father, good and kind;
So remember, child, remember,
That you love with all your mind-

9. The God, who lives in Heaven,
And gives us each delight,
Who guards us all the day,
And saves us in the night.

To all the women,

To all the women: Just because a man likes it, doesn’t mean he respects it. There’s nothing respectable about 1000 likes from a flock of men staring at your butt, breasts, thighs, duck faces and tongue lashes; imagining what they’d do to you in bed. You’re no longer a woman in their eyes, you’re an object, a piece of meat, a vain imagination in the eyes of a luster. You want be sexy and feel beautiful, I get it. But being loved and respected should mean more. Beauty is in modesty and a man won’t love a woman he can’t respect.

A lady never has to tell anyone she’s a lady. Everyone already knows.

The Book of Jeremiah

I’m going through Jeremiah for the second time and am viewing it very differently. The first time I read it, I was saddened thinking about how God’s own chosen people could so drastically turn away and anger God so much. This time as I read it, I see God’s unfailing and everlasting love. He gives His people chances and opportunities to repent in order for GOD to CHANGE His mind and not destroy them, even though He has seen all that they do. God never wants to hurt us, but He will never share His glory with another. Holiness. There is no sin nor impurity that can stand in the presence of the Most High God. He longs for us to rid ourselves of it, because if we don’t, He will. But He loves us and is patient, giving us time to reconcile with Him. Praise God.

Crying Out

I cry out

For Your hand of mercy to heal me

I am weak

And I need Your love to free me

O, LORD, my Rock

My strength in weakness

Come rescue me, O LORD

There’s something about crying out to the LORD in your weakest. There’s something so comforting, before anything has even changed, about knowing that God has heard your cry and will answer, heal, and mend you in His time.

I was listening to Isaiah 38 last night (en Español) and this stuck out to me:

In those days Hezekiah became sick and was at the point of death. And Isaiah the prophet the son of Amoz came to him, and said to him, “Thus says the LORD: Set your house in order, for you shall die, you shall not recover.” Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, and said, “Please, O LORD, remember how I have walked before you in faithfulness and with a whole heart, and have done what is good in your sight.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

Then the word of the LORD came to Isaiah: “Go and say to Hezekiah, Thus says the LORD, the God of David your father: I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears. Behold, I will add fifteen years to your life. I will deliver you and this city out of the hand of the king of Assyria, and will defend this city.

Isaiah 38:1-6, ESV

 

En aquellos días Ezequías enfermó de muerte. Y vino a él el profeta Isaías hijo de Amoz, y le dijo: Jehová dice así: Ordena tu casa, porque morirás, y no vivirás.

Entonces volvió Ezequías su rostro a la pared, e hizo oración a Jehová,

y dijo: Oh Jehová, te ruego que te acuerdes ahora que he andado delante de ti en verdad y con íntegro corazón, y que he hecho lo que ha sido agradable delante de tus ojos. Y lloró Ezequías con gran lloro.

Entonces vino palabra de Jehová a Isaías, diciendo:

Ve y di a Ezequías: Jehová Dios de David tu padre dice así: He oído tu oración, y visto tus lágrimas; he aquí que yo añado a tus días quince años.

Y te libraré a ti y a esta ciudad, de mano del rey de Asiria; y a esta ciudad ampararé.

Isaías 38:1-6, RVR1960

 

I’m not sure what more there is to say… but how awesome is it that we have a God who hears our prayers, studies our hearts, and sees our tears. Praise the LORD. Gloria Dios.