Falling in Love

We fall in love with personality,

the words they say

and their behavior,

the thoughts and opinions,

the moments you make and remember;

we lust with our eyes

and love with our hearts.

I would say it is completely possible

to fall in love with someone

without having a physical contact

because it is a pure, raw love for them,

who they are

and what they’re about.

Perhaps it’s the best way to fall in love.

You fall in love with the sight of their soul,

not the sight through our eyes –

which may be misleading.

To all the women,

To all the women: Just because a man likes it, doesn’t mean he respects it. There’s nothing respectable about 1000 likes from a flock of men staring at your butt, breasts, thighs, duck faces and tongue lashes; imagining what they’d do to you in bed. You’re no longer a woman in their eyes, you’re an object, a piece of meat, a vain imagination in the eyes of a luster. You want be sexy and feel beautiful, I get it. But being loved and respected should mean more. Beauty is in modesty and a man won’t love a woman he can’t respect.

A lady never has to tell anyone she’s a lady. Everyone already knows.

Men and Sex

You know when you have to use the bathroom really badly, you are running to the bathroom and unzipping and pulling down your pants like you’d win a prize for doing it the fastest? Those actions are the same of an aroused man. (I’m sure women are like that as well, but that’s another story.)

No matter how old and no matter what the romantic (or lack there of) situation, I’ve found, men really just love that three-letter word. It’s amazing, of course, but most of the time, it seems like that is all they are after. And when it’s all over, they are either finished with the situation or coming back for more.

That’s what I have found. And I have never felt more objectified in my entire life.

Don’t promise that you’ll stop or go slow or keep things “up to [me]” when you really don’t mean it. Don’t say that you care when you can’t even stop yourself from ripping someone’s clothes off. Don’t say you’re “not like other guys” when you can’t ask me if I want to OR if you do what you want no matter what. Just don’t.

That’s it. I feel like an object. I feel like a pleasure toy. I know I’m not but the way things are going, it’s hard not to feel that way.

Lust

Is it still considered lust if thoughts aren’t coming to you voluntarily?

Is it still lust if your desires take you by surprise?

Is it?

My head is filled with so many thoughts right now… and I planned on writing so much more, but I’m a little embarrassed.

I’m embarrassed to want something from someone that’s just.. I don’t know. I don’t even know.

I want it, naturally, but I never think about it. At least not like this. Maybe it’s a once-in-a-while kind of thing?

Lust is a crazy thing. You don’t have to be doing anything or talking to anyone for it to accompany you. It just comes.

There’s been no touch, no laugh, no kiss, no nothing that would spark this.

Well, maybe it’s just that.

• • •

Whew… okay, it’s happening. It is happening.

Well, it’s happened.

I officially cannot think of anything else.

I can’t concentrate. I can’t get this off my mind.

This lust is not mine and I do not want it anymore, so will the owner please take it back? Thank you.

I even dreamt about it.

Last night, I dreamt that for a few moments, I was pleasing myself.

Then I stopped because I knew I shouldn’t have been doing that.

What in the world. I honestly have the most non-existent sex life in any type of way. So why is this happening?

I guess it’s a good thing that there is not even an opportunity for a slip-up.

Because this is one crazy moment of weakness.

Whew… got to shake this off.

I am such a bad girl…

If it wasn’t for God, lust would utterly destroy me.

That’s part of the reason why I want to get married. You can’t lust after your own husband! Of course I would never rush anything or marry someone just because I’m hormonal but, sometimes I really have to catch myself.

I haven’t physically done anything with anyone and I haven’t willingly physically done anything with anyone in Lord knows how long… It’s just the thoughts that run through my mind. They make me feel like I’ve done the worst when really, I’m just sitting in my room at my desk.

Can I be honest? Sex is one of the most beautiful things in the world. I love “researching” it, for lack of a better word. Not pornography, of course, (because that’s just nonsense) but I love knowing what most men or what most women desire, their guilty pleasures, what to do and where and how to do it… Sex is just so interesting! So my dear future husband, …oh. Oh, sweetie… 😉

But back to the matter at hand. I really need to find a way to distract myself. Today while I was taking a final, I was distracted by it! 😦 Maybe it’s because I haven’t done anything in so long… which is good! That’s what I should be doing (or not doing), but this body and mind of mine… they want the right things but at the wrong time. I’m not married! Get with it, mind and body!

Well, I’m going to read and bathe and take my mind off of things. Jesus fixes everything! Just say the name! JESUS! 🙂

Destroyer

Lust, in my opinion, is the worst thing in this entire world. The flesh is just terrible. I cannot stand my flesh. It is true: the spirit and the flesh are constantly in a battle with each other. You think you want something… but then you realize you want no part of it, and when you realize it, it’s too late.

No worries, ladies and gentlemen, I’m not doing anything. I just hate the thoughts in my head sometimes. This flesh is a terrible thing.