The Writer of Love Stories

She is beautiful, but no man sees her. She is sweet, kind, and loving, yet the other women who run after men are always chosen, instead of her.

Oh beautiful woman, if only you knew that you are hidden and cherished by the Writer of love stories, the One Who is preparing you for a wonderful future.

He sits alone. The kind, caring one who honors the hearts of women and shows what true manhood is. Saving his heart for a lifetime woman, not willing to settle for a moment’s pleasure. Yet the “bad boys” always seem to win the princess, as he quietly waits for his queen.

Oh kind man, if only you knew that you are reserved for the best. If you only knew that God is planning a helpmeet perfect for you, for you are chosen and set apart.

Don’t you know that true love waits? Oh yes. True love waits for all things. Through all things, true love waits.

Respect Your Husband

It’s time for… a controversial topic! Yay!

Some women believe that taking on their husband’s last name is A-OK. Other women believe that it should be mutual, and both spouses should take on the other’s last name. Other women like dashes. Some women just don’t want their husband’s last name at all.

I believe, and it blows my mind knowing other women don’t think this way, that every woman should take on the name of her husband. It baffles me that this is even a topic of discussion! (So why am I talking about it, right?)

We are all born with our father’s last name, for the most part anyway. Why? Because (again, for the most part), we live in our father‘s house, under our father‘s rules, under our father‘s protection, and under our father‘s supervision. Our father then gives us his blessing and then away to our husband but until then, we belong to our father. Once we are married, we belong to our husband, therefore we take on his last name. Then we will live in our husband‘s house, under our husband‘s rules, under our husband‘s protection, and under our husband‘s supervision. Our last name signifies who we belong to. Not as in property, but when you go home at night, whose house are you in? Who is responsible for you? etc.

Of course it’s not always like that anymore. But until we are married, we belong to our father. Once we are married, we belong to our husband. That is why we take on each man’s name. Submission and respect. Simple as that.

Late Night Self-Reflection: My Heart

I have always been a romantic… ever since I was little. My father told me the other day that when I was little (3 or 4, I believe), I would sing this Stevie Wonder song about love. I can’t remember which song it was but he said that I was singing this grown-up song about love and I was so serious! Haha, he was surprised, but it’s no surprise now. More recently, he told me the things that I had to work on. One of them was having such an open heart. I don’t open myself up to everyone. You actually have to be some kind of wonderful in order for me to do so. But within the past three years I had fallen for a male, then ended up very much liking two others. I was with the guy I fell for for a little over 18 months until I broke up with him. I didn’t want to, but I felt like God was telling me that he was not the one for me. I ignored it for months but after a while, I had to show God Who I truly loved more. But anyway, I gave my all to this guy. If he ever asked for anything or told me to do anything, I’d do it… Not always the first time ;P but I would. I was head over heels. Smitten, if you will. And I cannot accentuate that enough. I opened up my heart completely to him. He was my first love… We did everything together and saw our futures standing side-by-side. So I started to act like his wife, unconsciously, but my lover turned on me, and I allowed it.

So after I ended it with him, I started talking to this guy who had liked me since the SIXTH GRADE. How adorable. He was everything I wanted but guess what! He had a girlfriend. I should say that that is a terrible, inevitable bad habit of mine… can’t ever like anyone who is single! It’s a shame. Anyway, he had the most complicated status of his relationship. But after a while, I realized that he wasn’t respecting me (obviously, right?). And I think the fact that he was and is so close to God and so into the Word and cares so much about souls blinded me. He is a man of God! Who cared if he broke the rules, right? Wrong. I opened up my heart to him… and I’m sure you can guess how the story ends. Disappointment. He ended up back with his girlfriend… back and forth actually. Idk, he’s single now. But now I’m over it and indifferent. But I cannot put all the blame on him. I knew he had a girlfriend. And though I stopped talking to him while he was in the relationship, I still shouldn’t have always been RIGHT there when he told me that it was over or they were on “break” or any of that. I am so silly sometimes. I just wish I could catch myself in the act. I thought something would come of it, so I had no problem waiting on the sidelines. Shame on me.

So after all that nonsense was over and after the year ended, I decided to start fresh. I did not and do not want any type of relationship that God does not want for me. I don’t want anyone touching me, whether it is just playing around or not. I don’t want to kiss anyone. I don’t want to hang out with anyone… And by “anyone,” I mean males, of course. What’s the point anyway? I don’t want to make memories with someone that I have to one day forget. I don’t want someone touching me or kissing me if I don’t belong to him. As of right now, I am the property of the God Most High and I live under the roof of my father. So to have anyone do anything to me would just be a shame. Now let me say, I am not going to wait until I’m married to kiss anyone. I might explode, haha. But when I meet up with the one that God has for me and I know without a doubt in my mind that he is the one for me, when I know that he feels the same, when he courts me, when he asks me to be “worldly” his (as in, his girlfriend), and when he promises me (I want him to promise) that he will be mine, that I will be his, that he will protect me, that he desires me to take care of him and his house, that his heart will belong to me and only me, and that he desires mine to be his and only his, THEN I will kiss him… haha. A lot of prereqs, huh? I just don’t want to give away my love to someone who will be forgotten. And if a man can do all this y sólo para mi, oh, he deserves five thousand kisses!

Now onto the most recent… You guys already know about him, if you’ve read earlier posts. That is, if I didn’t hide them. Well, if I did, this guy was just… oh my goodness. He just… I don’t even know. He was amazing. Still is, I’m sure. He was a gentleman. Still is, I know. He was respectful and respectable. Still is, of course. But things are different now. Maybe for the better. I’m sure you can guess what happened. I so foolishly and innocently opened my heart to him. All attention, no secrets, no restrictions. Mind you, it was nothing bad. It was never anything bad but… he was just going through something. It wasn’t the right time. Either that or I unknowingly did something terribly wrong. Either way, I unintentionally opened up. It just happened. Everything was so different and things looked so great. But of course…

One of my problems is that I open up my heart too easily. And to MAN. The only One I should be opening up my heart to is God and I should be patiently waiting for Him to place the one He made for me on my path. So that we may both, at the right time, open ourselves up to each other. Slowly and keeping all focus on not each other, but God. Easier said than done. I mean, it’ll be easy, I hope, to stop opening myself up, but sometimes… Okay, the most recent guy, I still like him, I do. And I used to think about him all the time. But after a while, I gave it up to God and I was fine! Of course he still crossed my mind but nothing too much. But now, I’ll see his name in the most random places or I’ll see a name that I used to call him in my Spanish book or I’ll be online looking at dresses and see an entire section of them that relate to his title or I’ll see something that would make him smile or laugh… Really? Come on, life, this has never happened before. Right when I had concentration too.

My dad also said that he believes that if I “found” a good Christian man, that I would be devoted to him for the rest of my life. If he gave his all to me and I believed that God would bless the relationship, I would be… That’s just how I am, and that is how I know I will be. One day, after a lot of growth and maturing, I will be able to give my mighty man of God and future husband all my love, which is everything he deserves.

All Is Well

So I’m over it. I’m over this whole thing… If God says, “Yes” then GREAT. If God says, “No” then I’ll have someone even better. It is silly to sit and wait on someone with no guaranteed promises. But I am fine… three weeks later, I am fine. Funny how we were three weeks talking then three weeks for me to be fully alright! I do miss it though. It was nice while it lasted. It gave me a reason to smile, and maybe that was its sole purpose. Now I am just waiting for God to give me an even BIGGER reason. Whether it is him or someone else. I guess it doesn’t matter anymore… I’d never deny God’s blessings!! 🙂

Maybe you think I am taking this too seriously. I mean, it was just three weeks. But you don’t understand. I felt something that I have never felt before. It was respect. Now by no means did I like him because of respect. Because what if that went away? Would I still like him? Anyway, I like(d) him because of everything he (is and) was. Along with his cuteness. There were things I did not like, of course, but man… I really thought, and still think, that he was something. But back to taking this too seriously. I am going to make this loud and clear:

I am not looking for a boyfriend.

A boyfriend, in my mind, is someone you spend time with, hold hands with, kiss with, make stupid mistakes with, then break up with. If I wanted that then… I don’t even know. It’s silly to me. I am waiting for God to send me the one who I will give myself to, who will take me, and who I will spend my entire life cherishing. I think I’ve said this before but I am not looking to get married tomorrow or anytime soon. But to know who I am going to marry would mean so much to me. Fortunately though, I know God is preparing a mighty man for me. That itself allows me to sit in the comfort of knowing that one day, he will come. Maybe I’ve met him already, maybe I have yet to, but I will. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but he will come. I’m not worried. 😉

One day…

I know, I know. Posting on February 14th, ya sé, ya sé. But I want to record my dream…

I haven’t dreamt this though. Just… thought it up. 🙂

One day I want a man- the man- the mighty man of GOD- MY mighty man of GOD to surprise me. I want him to plan it all out. The works. I dream that one day my mighty man will surprise me, whether it is at work, school, my house, church… I want him to come up to me all dressed up in a black suit, white button-down, tie (maybe even a bow tie… they are adorable, but not necessary), and nice shoes, smelling amazing with a bouquet of red roses. I want him to find me, and when he does, I want him to never take his eyes off me. Then when our eyes meet, I want to see the look of just… deepdeep affection. Like I am not just the only person in the room but the only person in the whole world. Then when we come together… I don’t know. He could say, “Very pretty you be” and I’d probably just melt, haha.

So that’s my dream. The start of it anyway. Maybe more thoughts will come later. But that alone would just be… amazing. More than amazing.

Initial Release

This is from January 23, 2013.

Keep in mind that this is a rant. A non-grammar-checked or spell-checked rant.

I get so frustrated sometimes thinking about things that have happened before… I am over it and all is forgiven but sometimes the memories just come out of nowhere. Then my mind likes to play tricks on me. Making me think that this would happen or that could’ve happened. It’s terrible. And all I can do is think about it until it goes away or try really hard to focus my mind on something else. I don’t know why I put up with everything he said to me, everything he did to me. It was my own fault for continuously opening that door. I shouldn’t have. But that was “love.” He loved me and cared for me like no one else ever could or wanted to. He made sure I was always taken care of. How could I ask for anything more than that? So when he wanted something or demanded something, it was hard to say, “No.” And even when I did, it never really mattered, did it? No… it didn’t. He was the man, I was the woman, and I’d better have listened to everything he said and I better have done everything exactly the way he told me to. I couldn’t do anything wrong. I couldn’t make him mad. I couldn’t resist him. I couldn’t push him away. Even when I tried my hardest, it’s like he took all the strength away from me. I’d plead with him and try to get away but I couldn’t. He had me. How could someone tell you they care for you when they completely disrespect you? He could’ve bought me a house, a new car, and a diamond ring but to disrespect me? That’s no form of “love.” And I don’t know why I didn’t see it. “Distance makes us wise.” So when I did realize it and when I actually got the respect I deserved, I couldn’t handle it. I still can’t handle it. I am still waiting for the day when I realize that the wool has been over my eyes this entire time. But it’s not like that. I know it’s not like that. But I’m not sure how to handle the most perfect situation I have ever been put in. Especially when memories from before decide to creep in and especially when I am waiting for the day where I am re-convinced that every male in this world thinks the same things, says the same things, and lacks respect and consideration for females. But it’s not true. I know it’s not true. It can’t be true- are you kidding me? The way I’ve been feeling lately has been an all-time high and I can’t even begin to describe it. I just hope that all this goodness will one day drown out all of the madness from before. It’s not fair that I can’t be completely happy and focused. “Back then” just needs to die already.