Modesty

The thing about modesty is that it all revolves around love.

A love for the LORD that completely satisfies a woman in a such a way that she is able to resist the temptation to be affirmed by the eyes of men.

A love for others that will cause a woman to dress appropriately not only because she knows that a gentle and meek spirit is precious in the sight of God but also to guard the hearts of her brothers in faith, not allowing her body to distract them from honoring the LORD.

A love for women that are younger in the faith that are watching her and learning what it means to be a godly woman by her example. She is either teaching them that it is okay to put her body on display for the world to see or to clothe herself in godliness.

So the question to be asked is, how are you loving God and others with what you are wearing?

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To all the women,

To all the women: Just because a man likes it, doesn’t mean he respects it. There’s nothing respectable about 1000 likes from a flock of men staring at your butt, breasts, thighs, duck faces and tongue lashes; imagining what they’d do to you in bed. You’re no longer a woman in their eyes, you’re an object, a piece of meat, a vain imagination in the eyes of a luster. You want be sexy and feel beautiful, I get it. But being loved and respected should mean more. Beauty is in modesty and a man won’t love a woman he can’t respect.

A lady never has to tell anyone she’s a lady. Everyone already knows.

Men and Sex

You know when you have to use the bathroom really badly, you are running to the bathroom and unzipping and pulling down your pants like you’d win a prize for doing it the fastest? Those actions are the same of an aroused man. (I’m sure women are like that as well, but that’s another story.)

No matter how old and no matter what the romantic (or lack there of) situation, I’ve found, men really just love that three-letter word. It’s amazing, of course, but most of the time, it seems like that is all they are after. And when it’s all over, they are either finished with the situation or coming back for more.

That’s what I have found. And I have never felt more objectified in my entire life.

Don’t promise that you’ll stop or go slow or keep things “up to [me]” when you really don’t mean it. Don’t say that you care when you can’t even stop yourself from ripping someone’s clothes off. Don’t say you’re “not like other guys” when you can’t ask me if I want to OR if you do what you want no matter what. Just don’t.

That’s it. I feel like an object. I feel like a pleasure toy. I know I’m not but the way things are going, it’s hard not to feel that way.

Coming Home

This must just be a thing now.

Whenever I come home, I learn something new about myself. Something that needs to be stripped away and that I need to get rid of.

I catch myself always saying that “I don’t like guys.” Literally, it’s said all the time and I never knew out why. Until the LORD brought it to my realization. Praise God because that one really made no sense. So…

…I realized tonight on my ride home (you know when you’re driving home late at night and you just start thinking about life?) that it is not that I dislike “guys.” It’s that I’m afraid. When it came to teenagers (when I was one) and young men, saying, “No” became a constant thing that either didn’t matter or rarely changed anything. And when I said, “Yes,” I soon realized that it was all for nothing and found myself left even more broken than before.

So I’m afraid. I’m afraid of what a man can do to me physically and emotionally. It’s not like every man in the world has done something to me, but it’d be nice to meet someone who can show that not every man in the world will hurt you.

MEN!

I LOVE MEN!!!

Okay, now to clarify: I do indeed love men. By “men,” I mean males who hold themselves accountable, who are responsible, respectful, worthy of respect, always doing what’s right even if they stand alone, strong even in weakness, leaders, godly… It’s too late to get into it but my goodness gracious. Men are awesome.

And no, I don’t get weak in the knees whenever I see a godly man. They are just… awesome! I respect them to the utmost.

An Unpleasant Reminder

So yesterday I went to the hang out with my two roommates from the mission trip I went on last summer, and we decided to go to the movies (we saw ‘Identity Theft…’ it is so… oh my goodness… just nope, not for me). Cool, right? Mhm, cool.

Keep in mind, kind reader, that the last time I went to the movies was with- you know… him… My ex-boyfriend (so no one has to scroll through each of my posts to find out who “him” is). But it was fine! I was with two of my girls, one on each side. But as soon as the lights went out, I got so nervous. I started breathing heavily and I was just waiting for someone to pull me close or grab my neck or touch me or kiss me or feel me or something. The whole thing just made me so nervous. After a while, though, I was fine. But then, of course, there was the most disgusting sex scene ever and just that made me uncomfortable (naturally). Blahh! I’m sorry, we’re going to move on. I can’t even think about this anymore because that was just… blasdfaksdlflkasjf blah!!!

So on the ride home… You know when you’re driving home in the car by yourself with slow music playing in the nighttime and you just begin to think about LIFE? Yes well, that’s exactly what happened, readers. That’s exactly what happened. I was thinking about… him. The good “him,” not the not-so-good “him.” Ugh, it’s so aggravating- why do I still think about this child? Anyway, getting off topic… But of course, being me, I was imagining things (good, appropriate things) that might happen the next time we saw each other. And just by the thought of GOOD things, I got so nervous. I know for a fact that I would be repulsively awkward if I was ever alone or out with a guy that I shared positive mutual feelings with. Like beyond awkward. I’d be so nervous and so shy and just terrified! And it’s because, I believe, of an issue with trust. And I hate to be that girl with trust issues but what can you do? But I just don’t know what that guy is going to do. Whoever the guy may be! Jim, Jack, Joe, or Mike, whoever. The second we are alone, the second we are in a car together, he is automatically in control and just because. A guy can do whatever he wants at anytime! He has the strength to. So no matter how sweet and kind and charming and considerate and thoughtful a guy is when we’re apart or around people, the second we’re alone he could be a completely different person. It doesn’t matter if I’ve known you for years, there are emotions that can lie dormant in a person that could explode at any moment. Or maybe the person always hides them or what have you! I can just never be too sure. Even if it was this guy, who I am so about to post about, my little ol’ self would still be shaking in my boots.

I’m just scared… and everything came back just because I was in a movie theater. Seriously? To even think about the things that happened or the things I’ve done. Goodness gracious. It’s not okay.

Gender Roles

I feel like this page is evolving… I haven’t had the need to post any releases lately (as in since… whenever the last time was that I posted one) but we’ll see where this goes!

So in one of my English classes, we read a play and have to do a context research assignment on the early 1900s. We all got to choose our topics and I chose “women.” Pretty huge, so I split it up into three different subtopics: Women’s roles, the view of women, and domestic violence.

Women’s roles in the early 1900s were what they still are now: Keeping the house, caring for children, and (contrary to today) staying at home (if the woman was single or if her husband was not making enough money).

The view of women was… I can’t even think of a word. Incompetent, to say the least. Men didn’t need women, women were seen to have simple minds and needed men!

Domestic violence, I’ve come to the conclusion, didn’t exist. If your husband hit you, he hit you.

Now, here’s my take on gender roles (women specifically), regardless of the year. Women should keep the house together and care for the children, naturally. But I mean she needs to like DO IT do it. When I am blessed with my man of God and a fabulous marriage, oh my goodness… It will be just… ah! Haha. When my husband comes home, there is going to be dinner (or lunch) waiting for him, always. When he wakes up in the morning, he will have breakfast ready, always, regardless of the time I have to be somewhere. The house will always be kept clean. So clean, dirt and dust will look at it and won’t even want to mess it up! A woman should always keep the house (and children, if there are any) together and make it a haven for her man.

I’ve been viewed as a lowly woman before, so I’m not sure how to take my own personal view of how I’d like my future husband to see me, or how any husband should see his wife for that matter. I know that he should respect the fact that she indeed is the weaker vessel, even if she does not want to admit it. He should care for her, remember that she is delicate, and treat her with complete delicacy. I will say, though it may rage a person or two, that when a woman gets out of line, she should be reminded of her position in the marriage. I can’t say what that reminder should be (simply because I do not know), but the woman should never try to be the man. It just doesn’t work that way.

Domestic violence. Hmm… I guess this goes into the woman being reminded of her position. But obviously, this is to an extreme… I don’t know. I mean, if you’ve read my older posts, you know that I’ve been abused but it seemed… necessary? I don’t know, I don’t want to sound crazy but it just seems like that’s how it is. Now, in NO way am I condoning this or saying that it is “essential” for marriage or to keep the woman in her place. Not at all. I’m just saying, that’s what I’m used to. I feel like sometimes it’s just inevitable. Maybe? I don’t know. Maybe one day I’ll see different.

So those are my opinions! 🙂