Be Who You Is

You gotta be who you is and not who you ain’t

’cause if you ain’t who you is then you is who you ain’t.

Admittedly, I will say that it is very nice, sometimes, to hear someone of the opposite gender say something nice about you. Also admittedly, I will say that if no one says anything nice about you or to you then you may begin to feel as if you are less than who you are (or “who you is”). It is so common and so easy for people to believe things about themselves that are not true. Perhaps we just get so used to hearing nothing good about ourselves that we assume everything about us is bad.

Admittedly, and of course, I am guilty of doing so. It’s so easy. After weeks and months of hearing nothing positive from “someone special” about yourself, sometimes all you can believe is that there is something wrong with you. And of course it makes no difference if someone of the same gender or a relative of the opposite gender says something nice about you. Odds are, that person knows you! It’s really something when someone merely looks at you and decides that you are worth getting to know, even though he/she doesn’t have to. It’s really something else when that person discovers internal characteristics and sees external features that make them smile. You have to admit, hearing that you’re beautiful from your girlfriends or being told, “If I was a girl, I’d date you” by your guy friends or even hearing that you are flat-out special from your aunt or uncle really doesn’t have the same effect on a girl/guy. There’s something special about hearing that “someone special” or that potential “someone” saying nice things about you and to you that, unfortunately, we sometimes allow to define ourselves.

For a while, I thought of myself as pretty much nothing. I thought of myself as nothing but a woman, lowly in society, and completely inferior to man. I felt like nothing. I felt like my only purpose was to serve a man and obey his every command, no matter what, and since I wasn’t doing that then, admittedly, I didn’t think I was doing my “job” in life right. Eventually I gave in and acted upon these feelings, but of course to no avail. It just left me feeling even emptier than I had felt before. But sometimes we sell ourselves incredibly short just to receive the slightest bit of acceptance and satisfaction. Naturally, and deny it if you will, we just want to feel special.

Because of this, we are more prone to believing things about ourselves that are (1) not true and (2) made up. I convinced myself that I was nothing. That’s not true. I believed that I wasn’t “doing my job right” because I wasn’t pleasing a man. Who told me that? Be careful not to let your mind wander too much when you’re feeling like no one even wants to get to know you. Be careful not to chastise yourself for not receiving any type of romantic attention, or anything among that line. If you think that you are nothing, eventually you will believe that you are nothing. If you believe that you are nothing, you will act like you are nothing, and that’s not who you are.

You gotta be who you is and not who you ain’t

’cause if you ain’t who you is then you is who you ain’t.

And that ain’t right.

Because It Happened

Smiling

Because it happened

Dancing

Because it happened

Laughing

Because it happened

Understanding

Because it happened

Thanking

Because it happened.

I never understood why someone would say, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” Obviously my response was, “Why would I smile?? IT’S OVER.” But I’ve recently come to the better realization that God allows us to go through everything He puts us through for a reason. Whether it is something happy or sad, I’ve learned to rejoice. When I think about high school (goodness gracious), I can SMILE because everything that has happened taught me how to value myself, what to look for in a person, and helped me better understand what to expect in a male. When I think about the hard times my family has gone through, I can SMILE because everything that has happened has made me value my family even more and understand the importance of not only having a family, but BEING a family. When I think about my past relationship, I can SMILE because everything that has happened has taught me an unbelievable amount of things about myself, my relationships, and about really listening to God. When I think about “David,” we’ll call him, I can SMILE because everything that has happened taught me to STOP, look at the situation, look at my motives, look inside myself, know my self-worth, think and consider everything about the other person, and to really, above all else, focus on God. I did not understand anything at first and I still do not understand everything now, but I’ve learned something so important about myself, people, and other vital things.

I can smile through everything. YOU can smile through everything! And why not do it? What’s frowning ever gotten anyone? Wrinkles, darling. Wrinkles.

So smile. 🙂