Have you ever experienced an anger so great that it completely consumed you?
Have you ever felt anger so strong that it made you feel like a monster?
Have you ever exploded on the one you love because your actions were uncontrollable?
This anger comes from sadness, anger, jealousy, false hope, regret, and lies.
This anger comes from years of suppressing all negative emotions until they burst inside of you.
This anger comes from not knowing how to deal with these emotions and letting them get the best of you.
I want it to go away. I want all the anger and sadness and jealousy and loneliness to go away. You would think people who are constantly surrounded by people wouldn’t feel lonely. It’s natural to think it, but anyone who’s experienced it knows that isn’t true.
Everyone wants to be understood. Everyone wants to be cared for. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to feel like they aren’t their mistakes. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. Everyone wants to know that they are loved beyond their imperfections.
Everyone wants to hear, “It’s okay. I understand you. I still love you. I’m here for you.” But more importantly than hearing it, they want to feel it.
So even when you get control of this anger and rage and feel like you are getting somewhere and hear these things, if you feel nothing–if you feel unloved and unappreciated and seen as your mistakes–, the rage will return and fill the void.
And then you’re left alone. All alone with you and your pain.
In The Midst, Lord... 