Do you ever feel like Moses?

Maybe that’s why I love the name Moses so much. Maybe that’s why I could read Exodus everyday. I feel like Moses. Do you ever feel like Moses? Do you ever feel overwhelmed, tormented, anxious, nervous… Unless, of course, Moses didn’t feel that way, but I’m pretty sure he did. Moses, besides Jesus, had to bear the greatest weight of anyone in the entire Bible. He had to lead the complaining, adulterous, murmuring, plotting-to-murder-ing, stubborn Israelites out of Egypt into The Promised Land. He even had to deal with them for forty extra years in the wilderness! Of course I’m not doing anything close to that but I had to leave what I knew, through protest after protest, trial after trial, heartache after heartache, to lead myself and another into our “Promise Lands.”

I honestly feel so humbled. I won’t go into detail as to stay “humble” and not make it seem like I’m some great person, but I believe with all of my heart that God has chosen me to bear a heavy weight and burden so that someone else doesn’t have to. So that two people don’t have to, actually. I am not promoting myself in any way and all the glory goes to God, but I honestly believe that God chose me to bear this weight because He knew I could handle it and that it would make me stronger. Things make so much sense and they are unraveling more and more. And I’ve realized, or am starting to realize, a glimpse of what God’s plan is. I understand why He put in my heart what He did those two years ago. I understand why time after time, I couldn’t go back to what I knew (for the most part). I understand that I’m hurting so two other people don’t have to. Again, I don’t want to sound high-and-mighty. All this glory is going to God. He did this. He did all of this and I praise Him and thank Him for it because I feel so blessed and humbled and loved. God does not put those who are not His children through the fire. He corrects those whom He loves:

⁵ And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the LORD,
nor be weary when reproved by Him.
⁶ For the LORD disciplines the one He loves,
and chastises every son whom He receives.”

⁷ It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? ⁸ If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. ⁹ Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? ¹⁰ For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. ¹¹ For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:5-11, ESV

Did Moses hurt? Yes! He even complained to God (for example, Exodus 5:22-23)! But when he complained, he was desiring God to be nearer, as opposed to complaining and straying away (my Old Testament teacher taught us that). So the LORD did just that. Yes, it was still hard for Moses, but Moses was Moses:

⁶ And He said, “Hear My words: If there is a prophet among you, I the LORD make Myself known to him in a vision; I speak with him in a dream. ⁷ Not so with My servant Moses. He is faithful in all My house. ⁸ With him I speak mouth to mouth, clearly, and not in riddles, and he beholds the form of the LORD. Why then were you not afraid to speak against My servant Moses?”

Numbers 12:6-8, ESV (God was directly addressing the murmurings of Aaron and Miriam.)

To bear a weight so great is to draw nearer to God. Draw nigh unto the LORD and He will draw nigh unto you. (James 4:8) So even though I or you or someone you know is going through something crazy that doesn’t seem to make any sense, know that God is leading us all into The Promised Land. O, look forward to The Promised Land.

…But when the LORD says to speak to a rock, speak to it. DON’T strike it twice! You don’t want to have to go to the top of the hill and just look at your Promised Land then have someone else lead everyone there… Ooooh, you’ll have to know the Bible to know that one. Or Exodus, at least. 🙂

God’s got something greater than you can imagine in store for you. And do not be troubled, for He has you in the palm of His hands. Sometimes I like to imagine Jesus holding my hand. You cannot say that doesn’t make things better. ♥

Love

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” John 13:34, NKJV

Have you ever rested in Jesus’ love? Have you ever really thought deeply about his love for us? “as I have loved you…” Jesus died for us- for US!

“Jesus sought me when a stranger wandering from the fold of God. He, to rescue me from danger, interposed his precious blood.”

Praise the Lord Jesus. Holy is the LORD God Almighty! Honestly… just think about it. Jesus loves us so much. God loves us so much to have sent him, then the Comforter upon his ascension. It’s amazing. It is so amazing.

It’s okay to feel.

It seems very easy to beat ourselves up for simply being what we are: human. Why is it easy to feel bad for feeling? God allowed us to feel. He gave us emotions for a reason. So when we feel them, it’s okay. It’s okay to be human. It’s okay to feel sad or to be upset or to have the desire to be selfish or to think about yourself or to feel overwhelmed or to cry or to hurt. It’s okay. Why is it, then, so hard sometimes to accept the fact that we do indeed feel and that it is okay? Don’t beat yourself up. Feel.

The Promised Land

Then the LORD said to Moses: “How long will these people reject Me? And how long will they not believe Me, with all the signs which I have performed among them? (Numbers 14:11 NKJV)

It is so easy to judge the Israelites. Reading everything they do makes their wrongs obvious to us but, you know, we do the exact same thing. God may bring us somewhere new and we complain that we no longer have things of the past. Bad things of the past. Would God would bring us discomfort or sorrow for nothing? He promised the Israelites a land flowing with milk and honey and He did not promise for nothing. Imagine what God has planned for us, and for His glory! Don’t turn your walk through the wilderness into a 40-year wandering. God has us all in the palm of His mighty hand.

Even when it hurts

Even when it’s hard

Even when it all just falls apart

I will run to You

‘Cause I know that You are

Lover of my soul

Healer of my scars

You steady my heart

God’s taking us there. We just have to keep believing. Through everything.

No Greater Agony

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

It’s terrible being at constant war with yourself. What’s even worse is not being able to tell a soul.

After The Storm

There will come a time, you’ll see, with no more tears

And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears

Get over your hill and see what you find there

With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair. ❀

I’d Like To Call It Beauty

You have only seen yourself two times:

Taking a picture and looking at the image

and staring in the mirror looking at your reflection.

You don’t get to see the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you love

and you can never see how beautiful you look when you really smile.

It really is kind of sad that you never actually see yourself,

but I can promise you that I will be here everyday

to tell you what I see.

Short and Sweet.

Is it weird that I can almost feel his touch?

Is it strange that I can practically feel him close?

Is it normal to imagine the one coming for you?

To imagine him breaking down each wall you so strongly put up?

To picture him gaining trust with every thing he does and every word he says?

I won’t let him get in my head too easily, but I see him slowly working his way there.

I’d never share my deepest thoughts and desires with him right away, but I envision him, everyday, getting one step closer.

I wouldn’t allow him to touch me, but I hear him whispering a sweet, calming assurance in my ear that everything is going to be okay.

What exciting thoughts.

I Understand.

To A Reader,

I know how you feel.

It’s easy to be a human and to want someone to “complete” you. But it’s hard to be a Christian, sometimes, and admit that you desire someone special in your life.

It’s easy to be a human and want to feel wanted. But it’s hard to be a Christian and confess that you are not fully content, sometimes.

It’s easy to be a human and have the desire to serve and to love. But it’s hard to be a Christian and tell the LORD that you want a physical presence, not just a spiritual. Sometimes.

It’s easy to be a human and yearn to be loved. But it’s hard to be a Christian and say that you know Jesus loves you, but Jesus loves everybody, and you want someone who loves you and only you.

It’s hard. I understand. And you’re never the only one.

– JJH

Say Something

I would love to dance to this song one day.

Oh, I’d absolutely love it.

Do you ever get so excited for a dance, that probably won’t happen, that you plan it all out:

Where you’re going to perform it, who you’re going to perform with, what you’re going to wear, how you’re going to move, etc.?

Oh, I’m there.

Plus I just love this song!

But come to think of it, I have no idea how I even know it…